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Having been steeped in porn sites for the last 15 years, we here at RabbitsReviews have pretty much seen it all – the good and the bad. And I have to say that the vast majority of it has been good. We got into this business because we love porn and, more than a decade later, we still do. But it’s because we love it so much that we also find ourselves extra peeved at the “bad.”

Over the years certain things have gotten on our nerves more than others. So, for this post, I made my own list and then went around the office asking everyone about their biggest porn – and porn site – pet peeves. These are the ones that came up again and again.

1- Lengthy Money-Shot Jerk-Off Sessions

The “money shot” is a staple of adult movies. The majority of all porn scenes end with the guy pulling his cock out of the girl and cumming all over her. But there are also times where the guy pulls out and then has to spend 5 minutes jerking himself off to make himself cum. There are few things that kill the mood faster than watching the action come to an abrupt halt, all while the camera cuts from his face (contorted in deep concentration and desperation) to the girl’s face (her jaw sore from keeping her mouth open), frustratingly talking dirty and encouraging the guy to “give it to me.”

2 – Straight Guys Who Moan Loudly

I made sure to distinguish “straight guys” because with gay porn, you’re there to watch the men, so hearing them moan loudly is all good. However, with straight porn, there’s nothing arousing about having to listen to the dude moan and groan and expose our ears to his loud O-sounds – sometimes even drowning out the girls! This particular pet peeve is widespread enough that colleagues and I have seen sites that make a point on their tour to advertise that the guys stay quiet during the scenes.

3 – Fake Orgasms

Look, we all know that most of the time, the girls aren’t actually having an orgasm. And we, the porn-watching public, tend to accept that they’re usually faking it. However, a big pet peeve of multiple people I asked wasn’t the fake orgasms in general, but the “overtly fake orgasms.” You know, the ones where the girl is such a bad performer that everything, from her body language to her fake moans, are so over the top. It suggests that she might have never had a real orgasm in her life (if that’s what she thinks it sounds and looks like), or she thinks that’s what we want to see and hear.

4- The Clicking Camera

This is one of those things that if you’ve never experienced it, then you might not think it was a big deal or even know what I’m talking about. However, for all of us who have (including every single one of my colleagues who’s ever written an adult site review), it’s like nails on a chalkboard. I’m not even sure what causes the clicking sound (there are multiple theories around our office). But whatever it is, you know it when you hear it – and when you hear it you hate it!

5 – Fake Cum

This is one we haven’t seen in a while, but over the last 15 years, we’ve definitely seen sites use fake cum in a scene. Sure, it’s been used for decades in photo shoots, but in a porno, well, it’s just wrong! There are a couple kinds of “fake cum” use as well.

Through a Tube

This is the kind that we used to see more often, where a guy would have a small tube that he would hold under, or beside, his penis (hidden from the camera) and as he “came,” they would eject a cum-like substance from the tube and onto the girl. Not only does it look weird, as the cum-like substance is obviously not coming from the guy’s penis, but also they aren’t always good at hiding the tube.

Put It on Her

This is when the scene cuts from the guy’s cock just as he has an “orgasm” and then cuts back to show the girl’s face, chest, stomach, etc., covered in “cum.” One time, the production values were so low and so little care was taken that I actually saw a hand come into the frame and place the fake cum on the girl’s stomach.

6 – Tours With False Advertising

This might be a bigger pet peeve for the general porn consumer than for us. You see, for us, if a site tells a big lie on their tour page it doesn’t cost us anything. And we’re able to tell everyone who reads our review about it to help them not be fooled by the false advertising. However, for someone who hasn’t read our review and spends their hard-earned cash on a membership based on stuff they saw and read on the tour only to find something completely different once inside, well, that would, understandably, make them very angry!

For example, I remember one site I reviewed when I first started with Rabbits almost 15 years ago. The sitename and images on the tour suggested that it was all about ethnic girls. However, once I signed in, over 90% of the content featured white chicks.

7 – Fake Squirting

As much as some people think that when a girl squirts, it’s fake, it isn’t! There are plenty of babes who squirt when they cum and many others who have the ability to if shown how and touched properly. But just because it’s a real thing doesn’t stop some sites from faking it. And usually doing a poor job of it.

The most common fake squirting we’ve seen is when a girl has obviously injected water inside her and at the moment of orgasm (generally faked as well), she pushes it out. The problem is that the water just pours out of her rather than actually squirting. Anyone who’s witnessed any real squirting can spot the fake ones right away – they’re almost laughable. And it’s a big pet peeve of ours here at RabbitsReviews.

8 – Lazy Video Editors

This is one that came up in the context of a number of already-mentioned peeves. And when we say “lazy editors” or “bad editing,” we’re not getting all nit-picky about angles and lighting and specific filming choices. Instead, almost every time someone mentioned a pet peeve it was almost always followed by “Why didn’t the editor fix that?” or “How did the editor miss that?”

The most obvious – and easiest to fix – is the “money-shot jerk-off sessions.” I mean, why doesn’t the editor just cut those long, agonizing minutes while the poor guy works himself hard to achieve an orgasm? With a couple simple clicks of the mouse, the editor could make it look like the guy was able to bust his nut right on cue like a champ. But instead, they see the footage, see the dude desperately stroking himself for longer than any of us want to watch, and decide to leave it in the movie.

Then there’s the “fake cum” peeve. Again, one that could be – at least somewhat – fixed by an editor half-paying attention. If I can see the tube used to eject the cum, that means the editor can see it too. They could’ve found another angle or a way to cut the action so that the audience didn’t see it in the final edit.

However, perhaps the worst case of lazy editing is the time I saw an actual hand enter the frame and deposit fake cum on a girl’s stomach. Again, a couple quick clicks of the mouse and the hand would’ve never been there. But the editor just didn’t want to make those cuts and so I laughed and laughed (probably not the reaction the producers were going for).

Be Sure to Remember

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About The Author

A.K. Anderson

Born many years ago to Mr & Mrs Anderson, A.K. always knew he wanted to write for the Hareald. Sure, the site didn't even exist at the time and the internet was only a glint in Al Gore's eye, but little A.K. (whose middle name is Nostradamus) had a feeling. And sure, that feeling was probably the discomfort of a full diaper, but regardless he is now writing for the Hareald so don't overanalyze it.

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