Some definitions of the word "minion" include dainty, elegant, trim and pretty, but let me tell you that none of those words describe what you are going to see on The Minion. The site features Sleazy D, a fat, hairy dude with a tiny manhood. He eats all the time and he gets hot women to blow and ride him (while he eats).
I have to say that TheMinion is one of the funniest porn sites I have ever seen. I've never laughed so hard watching adult content. Sleazy D is one funny dude who does so much talking about his meal and his life that by the time the chick makes an appearance he is often covered with food.
You can check him out in 173 videos and they all offer great-quality playback in Windows Media and MP4 files. There's the choice of both clips and full-length scenes. There's also an option to grab the movie in a format for mobile devices.
The babes are obviously in on the joke and watching them trying not to laugh sometimes and then hearing the cameraman crack up makes it all the more funny. Eventually, the scenes get to the blowjobs and the hardcore sex. In the ones I watched, the guy could barely get hard or maintain an erection. The chicks did their best to make it happen, but I guess his little engine just couldn't.
If you want to see this sort of comical hardcore in detail, you can check out the 70 photo galleries. You'll see this obese fellow in all his glory in high-res images that you can download in Zip files. No matter how hot the gals are, it's hard to avert your eyes from this train-wreck of a guy. He is so minimally endowed that sometimes he can't get it inside his lady friend's pussy.
Updates are pretty infrequent, but a membership gets you access to 21 bonus sites as part of the Dogfart Network, including Blacks On Blondes, Spring Thomas and Watching My Mom Go Black. The network has a strong interracial focus.
I had a lot of fun with The Minion, but as far as the porn goes, all the Sleazy D chatting, the food, the mess, etc, overshadows it. Let's face it, he could almost block out the sun, but more power to him for getting to lay some of the hottest chicks out there.
$29.99/30 days (Reg. $
|Limited Trial $0.99/2 days, rebills at $34.99|
|Cross Sales: 1 pre-checked|
|Pic sets: 70+||Pics per set: 90||Zip sets: Yes|
|Pic Res: 1024x768||High Res: Yes|
|Number of movies: 173+||HD Porn: No||DRM protection: No|
|Average Length: 20 mins||Full length videos: Yes||Streaming: Yes|
|Condoms: Some||Download Limits: No
Windows (640x480; 4050k)
MP4 (680x460; 3000k; streaming)
MP4 (640x480; 3000k)
|Independent Biller(s):||Epoch, CCBill|
Pros & Cons
-no keyword tags
-no advanced search
09/29/2012- From 73 to 74: More content and improved video quality. -A.K.
12/26/2011- From 80 to 73: A little more content, but scores adjusted to new criteria. -A.K.
04/22/2011- Stays at 80. -A.K.
12/09/2010- From 83 to 81: A little more content, but price went up and updating slowed. -A.K.
06/07/2010- From 82 to 83: More content. -A.K.
10/31/2009- From 78 to 82: More content, bonus sites. -A.K.
03/19/2009- From 77 to 78: More content. -Groundhog - Initial review: 8/16/2008