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Zombie Sex: Apocalypse And The Consenting Dead

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March 4, 2011

LA Zombie
Image courtesy of LA Zombie.

Workplace etiquette keeps most people from having truly interesting discussions on the job, but for better or for worse, there's seemingly nothing that's taboo in our office - including zombie porn. As such, we here at Rabbit's Reviews often have talks about stuff that you just wouldn't mention in any other office. Recently, we got to discussing what would happen if the zombie apocalypse should befall us, could said undead consent to having sexual relations with the living.

Bruce LaBruceThe idea of the dead returning to life has been alive and well within the human mind since long before biblical times, but zombies have never been more popular than they are today. They're on television, in films, in comic books, in video games and even on the shelves of toy stores. Last year, Toronto-based filmmaker Bruce LaBruce produced LA Zombie, a horror movie / gay porn feature starring gay porn actor François Sagat as a zombie. LaBruce has tried to merge his vision of porn and independent films, but has landed himself in hot water and on the wrong side of the law, for screening it.

Zombies are literally everywhere and with the rise of the undead in popular culture then it's no surprise that we're starting to see more and more zombie porn. That's got to be great if you're someone who loves all things zombie, but is fucking the undead any better or more moral than bestiality?

Some zombie porn flicks have the undead out looking to eat pussy rather than brains, so in those cases I think it's fairly safe to say that the ghouls are okay with having sex. But what about the other zombies, the ones who are more or less docile and not wandering the countryside looking for something to fuck? Would they be victims in a zombie sex scenario?

Fire Up Your Zombie Apocalypse Phones!

Some of the people in the office would argue that yes, the zombies would indeed be victims given the fact that they have very limited mental functions and couldn't even grasp the concept of consent, much less express their feelings on the matter one way or the other. Of course, those arguing from that position were only referring to the type of zombies that they were most familiar with: the slow, plodding flesh-eaters that George A. Romero made famous in his films. The thing is, though, other filmmakers have brought us zombies who could think as well as reason and even love, so in some cases, the undead could indeed give informed consent.

Having near had to deal with zombies for real, there's really no way that we can determine whether the undead could agree to consensual sex or not. That said, we may find out some day, at least if the crazy guy who begs for change on my street corner is right. He assures me that a zombie attack is imminent, so you'd best stock up on supplies. Get yourself some food, guns, ammo and a "zombie apocalypse phone." Oh, and don't forget condoms because you might just need them when the dead rise from their graves.

Posted by Chris Parker at March 4, 2011 1:01 AM

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