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Viagra To Get You Drunk And Help You Climb Mt. Everest (Not Necessarily At The Same Time).

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April 27, 2011

Viagra To Get You Drunk
Image courtesy of BrewDog.com.

What do the upcoming Royal Wedding and climbing Mount Everest have in common? Well, they both involve lots of planning, special clothing, a Sherpa and they both have recently been associated with Viagra. Okay, one of those four isn't true. As far as I know, William and Kate aren't using a Tibetan man to carry their stuff to the ceremony.

Yup, that means that Viagra has been talked about in conjunction with the wedding frenzy taking over the UK (and the world actually). That talk has been in the form of a commemorative beer being released by the folks at Brew Dog.

The beer will be shipped on April 28, 2011 (the day before the wedding) and contains chocolate, Goat Weed (an aphrodisiac), and our favorite normally-blue pilled friend. According to what I read, it will take three bottles of the brew to get the equivalent of one dose of Viagra. This seems perfect to me. Doesn't it, guys?

I mean, after three beers (depending on how big a drinker you are, of course) you might be feeling, at least, a little buzzed. This is when that 4 sitting across the bar from you - the one that has been checking you out since you walked in - starts to look like a very doable 7.

However, given that you have been drinking, your man below the belt isn't always as eager to stand at full attention (if you know what I mean!). This, as all guys know, is one of life's cruel jokes.

But, in this case, the joke is on life because you've now had a full dose of Viagra (maybe two if you had to go through six beers to get her to a 7) and are all ready to go and make this temporary cutie feel like a Queen for a night (or at least for 30 minutes until you get up to go to the bathroom and sneak out).

After such an invigorating and satisfying evening, you will find yourself feeling confident and ready to seize the day. So with your new "carpe diem" attitude, you bust out your bucket list and there near the top of the list, right under "learn a second language," "visit the Great Wall Of China" and, the newly crossed out, "drink Viagra beer and bang an ugly chick," is "climb Mount Everest." Little did you know that Viagra was again going to help you cross another one of the list.

David Hempleman-Adams is part of a team of climbers who are taking Viagra in an attempt to help them reach the highest mountain peak in the world. It made sense to me when I heard it. I mean, with such a rigid anchor it could only make the climb easier, right?

Actually, the doctor traveling with them believes that the Viagra will expand blood vessels in the climber's lungs and thus help increase the oxygen intake in the thin air. I guess that makes sense (although, I'm not completely giving up on my whole penis anchor theory).

This chick doesn't sound like she needs Viagra to help her climb or for anything else:

My favorite part of the whole Viagra/Everest story is one thing that the doctor told the guys. David told the UK Sunday Times,"We are a lot of alpha males and we are worried about what will happen, but the doctor has assured us that as long as we are not having any sexual thoughts there shouldn't be a problem."

No sexual thoughts? Come on Doc! You know that a guy can't go seven seconds without having a sexual thought whether he is climbing a mountain, running from a bear, ordering a pizza, installing a garbage disposal system, or looking at two gorgeous chicks fuck each other like the babes on Sapphic Erotica.

So, good luck with that, guys! But when it does happen and you dudes are feeling all embarrassed for having erections in front of each other, you just need to relax. Maybe even get drunk together. I got a great beer I could recommend!

Posted by A.K. Anderson at April 27, 2011 1:01 AM

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