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Utah Makes It Illegal To Not Be A Prostitute

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June 3, 2011

Be A Prostitute
Image courtesy of UpRoxx.com

Did you know that in Pennsylvania it is against the law to sleep outside on a refrigerator? In Texas it is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing and it is also against the law to shoot a buffalo from the second story of a hotel. And in Utah it is a crime to act like a hooker! The problem is that while those first three laws are all old and obviously never enforced, the Utah law is brand new.

The new law would expand the definition of solicitation to include "any person who indicated through lewd acts, such as exposing or touching themselves, that they intend to exchange sex for money." Okay, so there is so much to say here. But I just want to focus on the first two things that struck me when I read this.

Number one: How can someone indicate just through lewd acts that they want to exchange sex for money? Sure, I can see lewd acts indicating they want to bang. More than a few times I've had chicks grind their ass up against my crotch at a club while rubbing their tits over their shirt. In these cases no verbal communication was needed to indicate that we would soon be heading back to my place (or at least back to my car, the bathroom at the club, her hotel room, her friend's place, the alley around the corner...). However, if she was also expecting some cash for what we were about to do, I wouldn't have known.

Unless, maybe instead of rubbing her tits she was rubbing her thumb against her fingers indicating money like some sort of sex charades. Then when I didn't understand what she meant, she'd tap two fingers on her arm (two syllables), pinch her earlobe (sounds like) and then grab her stomach and pretend to laugh.

Number two: Isn't it already illegal to expose yourself regardless of intent? I mean, if some chick lifts her skirt and exposes her hoohaw to a passing bus is it all good as long as her intent isn't to exchange sex for money? What if she is just really proud of the design she shaved on her pubes and wants to show it off? Is that not against the law?

And what if she just wants sex but no money? What if she is feeling horny and rather than waste time getting all dressed up and going out to find a man, she just steps out on the stoop, lifts her shirt and lets her boobs draw men in, like moths to two big, round silicon-filled flames? Would a cop walking by have to stand around and wait to see if any of the guys paid her before arresting her? (Assuming the cop wasn't balls-deep in her within five minutes himself.)

There are some great things about Utah. Like the Arches National Park and the Sundance Film Festival. However, there are some completely ridiculous things about the state as well. And right near the top of that list is this new solicitation law!

Check out these sites where had these babes been in Utah, they would be on their way to jail. Well, actually, since they also have sex for money, they would probably be going to jail in any state except for Nevada: Big Tit Hooker and Real Hooker Videos.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at June 3, 2011 1:01 AM

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