This Week in Dicks - "Mommy, Why Is the Sky's Penis Green?"

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September 14, 2011

Sky's Penis Green
Image courtesy of News.com.au.

Will you look at the time? I'd say it's about time we got into your favorite thing on the entire internets, if not life itself, where we wrap our hands around the throbbing, veiny world of news and pull out This Week in Dicks.

I See Penises Everywhere I Look - A while back, we told you about a few enterprising chaps in England who made creative use of weed killer on their school lawn and drew penises so big it was picked up by Google Earth. Well, a few Aussie kids have seemingly topped that feat by getting close enough to a Google street car and drawing a giant dong on the camera lens. That, or one of The Coneheads in silhouette.

The sketch is rather rudimentary, even for penis drawing standards. Still, it's comforting to know that after thousands upon thousands of years of existence and evolution, we still enjoy drawing a nice pair of cock balls on things. It makes you believe in humanity. You can see the results here.

How Else Can You Say I Love You - Ever have that classmate, or coworker or cousin (third removed, of course!) that you really, really liked....like in a carnal way, and you had no way to tell them? Sure you have. You just wish you could share with them all of the lurid fantasies that arise in your noggin when you're peddling the unicycle to Pleasure Town (masturbation, to those not hip to the new slang), but you're worried it would upset people like your boss or Mom.

Well, now there is. Thank Your Wank, a recently launched site that allows you to post names and pictures of the people you most enjoy jacking off to. Not only that, you can browse the selection of available hotties and studs and vote on their wankability. Perhaps you could appear on the site! That's what happened to this lady, who was researching her name online for an upcoming interview and found her TYK page was the third result listed. Another feature to the site is if two people both cop to wanking to the other, both parties will be notified, which will surely make for an awkward workday or family reunion (come on, I'm not the only one jerking off to cousins).

There's Probably A Godzilla Joke Here - Every day, if not every hour, there's a new clip floating around in cyberspace that makes us laugh and grateful that it's not us doing the ridiculous/embarrassing/painful thing being captured on video. This one is certainly unique, as you will see.

The video, which has been posted since October 2010, is just now getting into the viral-sphere. It stars a man wearing nothing but molded plastic wig and a blue-striped shirt. Protruding from his crotch (with the help of a few straps wrapped about his waist) is what could be best described as a giant brown root. The root gives way to foliage that twists into the shape of his native Japan. The man stomps around his room and knocks things over with his floral appendage. In a move certain to inspire and confound film students, the final 30 seconds plays back the man's destruction in reverse. There is vaguely a political or artistic (autistic?) message to all of this, but God(zilla) help me if I know.

Posted by Wayne King at September 14, 2011 1:01 AM

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