This Week In Dicks - Gilding The Lily-Buster

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July 20, 2011

Gilding The Lily-Buster
Image courtesy of cdn.UnicornBooty.com.

Welcome back. A hectic schedule has prevented me from covering the one subject we all know and love, penises. There have been a lot of penises (peni?) in the news lately, so without further ado, let's look at This Week In Dicks.

My disco ball outfit is now complete - Because in our current climate, just having a regular penis is not enough, a company has released Pejazzle. Hot on the heels of the Vajazzle, men can now apply sticky adhesives to their genital area and affix little metallic shapes to it. No word on whether you can continue wearing them during the act of sex (you can practically hear potential lovers exclaim, "you're not sticking THAT inside me.") or how long it takes to remove. On a side note, can one imagine how sad a bedazzled penis would look like if a couple of the jewels fell out? It'd be like a doll that hasn't been kept after.

You will look at your hand in five, four... - A new study has found there to be a link between finger length and penis size. More specifically, a recent study entitled Second To Fourth Digit Ratio states that the size ratio between a man's index finger and his ring finger corresponds with his penis size. The bigger the ratio, the study reports, the bigger the penis. For those who find this silly, know that another study found that the larger the size ratio, the more likely he would be judged attractive by women. The reasons for this are tied to testosterone production, though I think it's because they only interviewed women who like to be fingered.

With his singing and your skin flute, you guys could go places - Scientists in France and Scotland have concluded that a tiny bug known as the water boatman is the loudest animal relative to its body size, able to produce sounds as loud as 99 decibels. And how does it make this music, you ask? You did read the title of this blog post, right? It produces its dulcet tones by rubbing it's penis against its abdomen in a process known as stridulation, which sounds awfully similar to a "process" I do on weekday afternoons. For a close-up of the adorable little insect, click here.

Posted by Wayne King at July 20, 2011 1:01 AM

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