The Last Few Days of 2013: Masturbation and Twins

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January 3, 2014

The Milton Twins
Image courtesy of AllSoloGirls.com.

You might have been too busy returning your Christmas presents and getting ready for your New Year's party to pay attention to all the useless news out there, but don't fret, my friends, that's why I am here! So how about we start off with a little masturbation?

Now, I don't know about you, but when I masturbate I can't do too many other things at the same time. Sure, I can talk on the phone, maybe type a few lines on the computer (with one hand, of course) or eat a sandwich. (Hey, don't judge me!) There may be a few more things I could do at the same time, but I am pretty sure that fighting off more than 10 cops with tasers isn't one of them. You know who can, though? Andrew Frey.

Mr. Frey is a 37-year-old dude from Oregon who, a few days before the end of the year, made a series of outbursts in a local restaurant and then began to masturbate. The cops tried using their tasers, but it didn't work and in the end it took 15 of them to get him into custody and to stop masturbating. Oh, did I mention that he was high on meth?!

Now let's watch a video of a cute British chick talking about masturbation:

Getting past the meth masturbating guy, on a much more uplifting note, 2013 ended and 2014 began with twins (get your minds out of the gutter). In a hospital in Toronto, Ontario, the last baby of 2013 and the first baby of 2014 were delivered... to the same mother.

Lindsay Salguerio wasn't due for another two and a half weeks, but sisters Gabriela and Sophia weren't going to wait and at 11:52 PM on December 31, Gabriela was born, followed by her baby sister eight minutes later (38 seconds after midnight).

That should start your new year off with a smile on your face. But if instead it just got you thinking about pregnant chicks, here are some sites for you to check out: PregnantSistas, PregnantKristi and MadisonMason.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at January 3, 2014 1:01 AM

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