The Key to New Dating App... Bribery!

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October 24, 2013

The Key to New Carrot Dating App... Bribery!?
Image courtesy of CarrotDating.com.

What's the first thing you say to yourself when you see a hot chick walking hand-in-hand with a not-so-attractive dude? If you are like me or anyone else I know, you say, "I bet he's rich." Wrong or not, that is basically the theory behind a new dating application called Carrot Dating.

Sure, there are other dating sites out there that are based on the same gold-digging belief system, but they are a little more up-front about it, with names like Sugar Daddy for Me and Millionaire Dates. At Carrot Dating they take a more circuitous approach to it. You see, this is how it works.

You download the app onto your iOS or Android device and create an account. Once your account is approved (it usually takes about a day), you can start checking out the other members. When you guys see a female you find interesting (basically, someone you think is hot) don't bother with all those tedious messages back and forth trying to get to know her, because if she is out of your league she probably won't bother responding anyway. Just offer her a bribe/incentive/carrot for her agreeing to go on a first date with you.

Some of the "carrots" you can offer the ladies include dinner or flowers or chocolate. All very reasonable and generally part of a first date anyway. But what if this chick is way out of your league? Well, for those money-loving hotties you are going to need more than a box of chocolates. To get those babes you might have to step up your offer to something like jewelry, a shopping spree or even plastic surgery. (Yes, those are all actual Carrot Dating bribe options.)

Now, paying for some chick's boob job just to get a first date sounds crazy to me, but if that works for you then who am I to say otherwise (and I'm sure the guy she ends up dating after your one date will be very thankful). And if the only reason you are going on a date with some dude, ladies, is because he is also taking you on a shopping spree then, well, honestly I can't blame you. I'm not gay, but I would definitely go on a date with a dude if he let me loose in Best Buy with his credit card.

Now for a video (an actually very clever and funny one):

And some porn sites (not funny or clever, but they have the word "date" in their names): DirtyDatingLive and DateSiteLiars.

Posted by Will Peters at October 24, 2013 6:31 AM

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