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October 20, 2006

Ride of a Lifetime

My mind works in mysterious ways. Okay, more often than not, there's less mystery and more just filthy dirt clogging up the windmills of my mind. Yesterday, for example, I decided to buy an electric shaver and of course, in no time flat, I was thinking of vibrators and when that happens, I often drift to visions of chicks riding away in Sybian World.

What made me think of sex machines? The mere mention of which has set that song by The Miracles off in my head, Love Machine, sex machine, tomato, potato. No worries, I'll forego the deep philosophical discussion of why love could be synonymous with sex. After all, how many tangents should it take to explain my tangent-prone thinking?

I went to this store to buy my electric razor that has all kinds of electrical gadgets and small appliances. Needless to say, across the display case where I was eyeing a nifty futuristic shaving device, I noticed a wall with all kinds of vibrating massagers.

In the old days, before sex shops were de rigueur, I know that women used to be able to buy various wand-shaped massage devices for so-called "personal use" with the explanation that they're phallic design allowed it to stimulate even those hard-to-reach places as the elongated form allowed it to be conveniently used from all sorts of angles.

I must admit that one of my earliest sexual experiences involved a bright orange "personal massager" that resembled an electric beater with various attachments. My favorite one somewhat resembled an egg cup and was quite frankly ideal as a "massage head" in the most literal sense.

Anyway, even though I'm a dude, I remember the orgasm that I got from vibration as stimulation was totally different from the usual kind. There's a sort of intensity that is hard to describe. Your whole body really does seem to be humming. You sort of shake and quake all over.

Anyway, just listen to some of the babes using a Sybian and you'll see what I mean. Believe me, it's one time you can be sure that these horny females aren't faking it!

Posted by Will Peters at October 20, 2006 1:47 AM

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