Stupid Reasons for Doing Stupid Things

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March 16, 2014

Stupid Reasons for Doing Stupid Things
Image courtesy of PhilosophyInAction.com.

Forest Gump told us that "stupid is as stupid does," but in the case of these two stories, I would say it's "stupid is as stupid does for stupid reasons." Today I have for you a couple geniuses whose reasons for their stupid acts are almost as stupid as the acts themselves.

Let us begin with Michael Moore (no, not the great documentary filmmaker) who was arrested on a DUI charge last month. Moore, a 61-year-old man, had been drinking a lot and had an argument with his wife so he left the house and went for a drive. When the cops pulled him over, two breathalyzer tests measured his blood alcohol level at 0.104 and 0.103 (the legal limit is 0.08). Right there we have the "stupid does" part.

As for the "stupid reason" part, Mr. Moore admitted to the cops that he had been drinking, but told them that he was - wait for it - trying to "drive it off."

Next up we have an 18-year-old dude who goes by the codename VERSACEPOCKETS. Now, at this point you might be familiar with this dude's "stupid does" that got him banned from Twitter and Vine. If not, let me fill you in. The guy filmed himself having sex with a Hot Pocket! (Ham and cheese, in case you were wondering.)

So why did he do it? What brilliant and insightful reason would he give for sticking his little wiener into a Hot Pocket? Well, to quote this Einstein, he did it because: "I just thought it was so fuckin' funny."

The only funny thing about it to me is that he first tried doing it without a condom before he realized how damn hot it was inside one of those things. Also, now he will forever be known as the idiot who stuck his dick in a Hot Pocket.

For some actual Hot Pocket humor check out this great bit from comedian Jim Gaffigan:

And if you are intrigued by the idea of food and sex, here are some hot ladies who incorporate it into their porn: FoodBangers.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at March 16, 2014 6:30 AM

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