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Squirting Cum All Over The Place

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August 4, 2008

Squirting Cum All Over The Place
Image courtesy of Stop Or I'll Squirt.

There's an old joke that's a favorite of mine and might explain why I get such little repeat action in the sack. Anyway, the joke poses the question, how long does it take a woman to cum? The answer is, of course, who cares! Well, while that might have worked in the 1970s, these days you'll have to do a lot better. Female ejaculation is now a reality that we're all living with and if we men are not up to the task of helping horny honies and their endeavors to be constantly squirting cum all over the place, then we are in danger of being replaced by Fucking Machines. This is a future that I just, quite frankly, want nothing to do with. The mere thought of this horribly dystopian society fills me with a sense of dread and foreboding, not unlike how George Orwell must have felt a lot of the time.

One way to avoid this cold, cold future is to start learning how to get your gal squirting cum by checking out Real Squirt. You'll want to pay close attention to the 125 videos and the seven good-looking photo sets. You'll notice that most of the women are French-Canadian, so one might speculate that it's either the poutine or something going around in the very strong beer that's making these chicks shoot geysers of girl-jizz.

Picture this: You've just committed a robbery. You're running away from the scene of the crime, when from out of nowhere comes a chick that's fully naked except for a police hat and she yells out, "Stop Or I'll Squirt!" Well, my advice to you, if you're ever lucky enough to have that scenario happen to you, is to drop to both knees, put your hands behind your head with your fingers interlocked and extend your tongue in order to help the horny vixen fulfill her promise of squirting cum all over you. This site has 22 movies and 10 sets of pictures to help you in your investigation.

Quite frankly, I don't think you can handle this. But, if you feel like makin' a move and you're feelin' right, these chicks are lookin' sexy, lookin' fine. You're gonna have to do what's betta if you wanna dance with them tonight. So, the question now is, are you ready for this jelly? Are their bodies too Squirtalicious for ya? The only thing you can do is check out the 100 videos and if you can move to the groove, you can hang with these chicks squirting cum.

Posted by Weasel at August 4, 2008 1:01 AM

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