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Sex and Relationships: There's An App For That!

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August 14, 2013

Sex and Relationships: There's An App For That!
Image courtesy of IntentBlog.com.

So this week I want to tell you about two new smartphone apps that want to help you with your sex life and relationship. But before that I want to tell you about a dude who didn't need an app to get what he wanted. Alexis Garcia!

Who is Alexis Garcia, you ask? Well, he is a guy living in Las Vegas who has been arrested numerous times on charges ranging from possession to carrying a concealed weapon without a permit. And on July 28, 2013, he was arrested on drug charges. But his trip to the Las Vegas jail went a lot better for him than for most guys heading that way.

You see, sitting across from him in the van was Carlisa Brookins and although they were on opposite sides of the vehicle and wearing belly constraints, nothing was going to stop Ms. Brookins from bending over and giving Mr. Garcia head. Which is exactly what she did until the corrections officer noticed what was going on and turned on the light.
At that point Carlisa immediately sat up and - this is my favorite part - according to the Las Vegas Sun, made comments claiming she wasn't a prostitute because she didn't charge Garcia. Actually my favorite part of the story is what Garcia said next.

According to Jessica Melarets, who was sitting near Brookings (ya, there were eight other inmates being transported at the time) Garcia was a total gentleman and told Brookings, "I'll get you off before we hit downtown."

Now, not all of us are as suave as Alexis Garcia and maybe need some help keeping our relationship fun and exciting. Well, for the rest of us there is the Kahnoodle app. Basically what the Kahnoodle does is turn your entire relationship into a game. Check out the video below:

Now, if Kahnoodle works it will probably mean more sex. But how do you know how good you are at sex? Well, the Spreadsheets app will tell you that.

Spreadsheets is a new mobile app that, according to the website, "monitors your performance in bed to provide statistical and historical feedback" by tracking a user's "movement and audio levels through the accelerometer and microphone to provide statistical and visual analysis of their performance in bed."

So the app is determining how well you performed based on the volume and speed of movement of both parties as well as how long they lasted. And, like Kahnoodle, there is a game aspect to the app in that they allow you to acquire "achievements" if you have sex in the afternoon or last at least 40 minutes or have a "Lazy Sunday," which requires you to use the app five times on a Sunday. (Personally, banging five times in a day seems anything but lazy.)

Since you are going to be on your phone downloading these apps anyway, I figured my porn site suggestions for the week would also be mobile ones: BrazzersMobile, RealityKingsMobile and TainsterMobile.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at August 14, 2013 1:01 AM

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