Roids Shrink Dink and other Brain Too

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September 27, 2006

Steroid-Shrinking more than Dicks.bmp

In my previous call center job, I trained several classes of new employees. The first day of each new training class, I asked each person to describe previous work experience. In one instance, an 18-year-old, named David, firmly stated his name but quickly added we'd find out anything else we wanted to know soon enough since he was going to be around for awhile.

Ignoring, his non-answer I asked again about any call center experience.

His response, "If you're worried whether I can do the job or not based on whether or not I've ever worked in a call center, don't! I'll be the best agent this company has ever had!"

I calmly replied that he'd already passed the interview process, so my question had little to do with keeping his job as long as he passed the training.

A day or two later, David told me the scheduled break wasn't long enough to eat. I apologized but said it was the maximum allowable.

His reply, "I must eat. My metabolism is very fast. I could eat donuts right before bed and wake up next morning with my abs still ripped!"

The next afternoon, David arrived late and struggled violently with a broken office chair. I quickly intervened offering my own, as I feared for the very life of that chair.

Later that evening, David quit, stating his multitude of talents would be better applied elsewhere. My colleagues and I were collectively relieved as we presumed David was on steroids.

A new study reported by Maggie Fox, Health and Science correspondent for Reuters (09/26/06) explains that high levels of testosterone caused by steroids, besides the previously known side effects, causes brain cells to kill themselves.

Old cells normally self-destruct to make way for new ones. However, in diseases such as Alzheimer's or if someone has too much testosterone, more cells die off than can be replaced so brain function suffers.

Donuts at bedtime might not give me ripped abs the next day but brains over brawn I say. For example, Peacock's chair squeaks incessantly behind me everyday but brain cells intact I seldom seriously plot said chair's demise.

Posted by Will Peters at September 27, 2006 12:38 PM

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