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Rabbit's Real Touch Review

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July 2, 2010

Rabbit's Real Touch Review
Image courtesy of Real Touch.

Few announcements created as much stir in the porn-loving community as the launch of the Real Touch male masturbation aid. For years we have been teased by the possibility of combining advanced robotics and artificial intelligence for the sole purpose of pleasure. There have been other companies that tried to enter the market, but this seems to be the first legitimate offering to provide adequate pleasure while giving an experience that is similar to actual sex. Blowjobs, handjobs, vaginal or anal can be simulated while synced to the action in movies streamed from AEBN's RealTouch.com site. With so much expectation, I happily unboxed the toy and took it for a ride.

I consider myself to be tech-savvy, but there were some hurdles to overcome right from the start. I recently switched over to a Mac, so I wasn't all too happy to learn that the Real Touch only runs on PCs. Assuming you have one of those, you first need to download a plug-in for Windows Media Player that will control the device. I ran into troubles with it on my first couple of runs where the player would be playing the movie, but the Real Touch wasn't working. I chalk it up to my inexperience because I eventually got it to run smoothly, but it's something to be aware of.

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You also need to know that this device dispenses lube. It comes with a bottle of water-based lubricant that you pour into an onboard tank. Then, during the scenes, it periodically dispenses to keep things running smoothly or you can push a button to get it to gush. Make sure you add the lube before you get started.

Once you turn the Real Touch on, it runs through a start-up routine that lasts about a minute. It reminds me of a mini car wash for some reason, one that isn't as quiet as you might like. Although the neighbors won't complain, it's not something you can use with paper-thin walls and have someone like your roommate not know what you're up to. It actually heats up during this process, though, so you have a warm hole to hump, which is a nice touch. It should be noted that every time you disconnect the unit from your PC, or turn it off, you will need to run this whole process again before you can get it to work. This part isn't a lot of fun if you accidentally knock the cord out when you're in the middle of a heated session. Trust me.

With the Real Touch device ready to go, you need to login to RealTouch.com. It's the only site this product works with, so you need to be able to enjoy general-interest porn vids. They have both straight and gay movies and they offer three different pricing packages: a pay-per-minute option starting at 49 cents a minute, a 9.95 rental for the scene of your choice for seven days, or a $29.95 option to buy your favorite scene forever. There's also a free use option, but it doesn't come with any videos, which sort of defeats the purpose. Looking at those options, I'd say the pay-per-minute is your best bet.

I hooked up my PC, got the RealTouch warmed up and chose a scene. I pushed play and the device whirled into action. I saw a hole and figured I could just fuck it - a typical guy move, really, but not a wise choice overall. I imagined that with all the whirling during startup, there would be a slick, warm slide waiting for me on the other side of the carwash-like flaps that surround the opening. Instead I found rubber tracks whirling at great speeds and zero lube. Ouch! No irreparable damage was done, but always lube before you shoot for the goal. Another thing to note is that the lubrication didn't work the first couple of times I used it. I guess the liquid has to move its way through the tubes, but if yours doesn't work off the top, don't panic. The fun is just beginning.

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So how does it feel? Pretty good considering the only sensations you have come from two belts with grooves on them spinning backwards and forwards. They move at different speeds, depending on the action, and the little heaters ensure you're kept nice and toasty. Where it really excels is in the simulation of the scenes. There is such a quick response rate and it has virtually seamless transitions as the action changes up. That may take some getting used to, however. Using more manual products, or your hand, you wield control over how hard or fast to move.

With your dick in a Real Touch, someone else is driving and you're just along for the ride. You may not feel like going hard or fast, but that's what could be happening on the screen. If that's the worst thing to happen, though, you're probably doing okay. One of the best feelings comes when you get a fresh jolt of lube. It's cool and really slicks up the tracks, so I used the manual application button pretty heavily.

Overall, I didn't cum as quick using the RealTouch, but why would you want to? With all the start-up time and technical intricacies involved, you're using it for the experience. Make it last as long as you can. While not perfect, it's the first real step toward a technically enhanced masturbation experience. The true marriage of man and machine will come when technology can pleasure men as well, and as easily, as they can pleasure themselves. With the start-up and cleanup that's involved, we're not there yet. When that time comes, though, I wouldn't be surprised to see AEBN and future additions of this product to be at the head of the market. Till then, if you have the coin and are aching for a different experience, the Real Touch is probably worth getting your hands on - and your dick in.

Posted by rabbit at July 2, 2010 1:00 AM

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