PETA to Launch a Site Filled With Pussies. But No Animals!

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August 19, 2011

Site Filled With Pussies
Image courtesy of PETA.

PETA is getting into porn! Now, you might be thinking to yourself - based on their use of naked celebrities and sexy commercials - that the organization has already made the leap. But those softcore, albeit sexy, ads are nothing compared to what the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have in store.

Back when PETA first introduced their "I'd rather go naked than wear fur" ad campaign in the early '90s, I remember that it was actually pretty shocking to see celebs like Pamela Anderson naked in a magazine. (Okay, maybe she isn't the best example, but you know what I mean.) PETA was doing it for shock-value and to get our attention. And it worked. But times have changed.

Check out one of PETA's Super Bowl commercials. (I think this one was rejected and never aired.)

Scantily clad women and female celebrities are all over the place now. Seeing some famous babe naked with her naughty bits strategically hidden just doesn't get people interested as it once did. So when softcore semi-nude pictures stop working, what's the next step? Hardcore porn, of course!

When the new .xxx domains go on sale, PETA is planning on picking up PETA.xxx. But while other companies are purchasing the domains not to use them, but to stop someone else from buying them and pornicating their brand, PETA is going the other way.

In order to bring attention to the issues of mistreated pussies and cocks, and the use of fur for fashion, PETA will be bringing us fur-covered pussies being properly mistreated by cocks. I have no idea if all the women will have hairy vaginas, but it worked for my pun.

Actually, I have no idea what the site's content will consist of. Although, one can only assume that most of the sex will take place doggy style, the chicks fucking will be referred to as "doing it like rabbits" and all the guys will be "hung like a horse!" And don't forget about the gay section, which will be filled with big hairy guys (for those who don't know, those guys are called "bears").

I'm also assuming that there will be a no-cowgirl and no-reverse-cowgirl policy on the site's content. But I did some research on the PETA website and found that they aren't outright against humans riding horses. They do, however, say, "Gentle methods can be employed to teach a horse to tolerate a rider on his or her back. PETA does not support training methods based on punishment." So it looks like cowgirl is good, just no cowgirl mixed with BDSM! I am also assuming no sheepskin condoms.

I know they want to help change how we as a society view and treat animals. They want to use the porn site to "draw attention to the plight of animals." But I hope they know that if the site is good, it is going lead to an increase in human-on-simian violence as guys spend even more time spanking the monkey!

I mentioned Pam Anderson before. If that got you thinking about her famous sex tape with Tommy Lee you can check it out and other famous celeb sexcapades on sites like Celebrities On Net and Celeb Movie.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at August 19, 2011 6:30 AM

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