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Pants: He Wants To Pull Them Down, They Want You to Keep Them On

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May 16, 2012

He Wants To Pull Them Dowm
Image courtesy of Bodyscape18 via DeviantArt.com.

Hey, guys. Remember when you were in grade school and at recess you would go around and pull down the girls' pants? Well, while it might have been cute and flirtatious in grade five, just a word of warning - at 25 years old, not so much. Just ask Ottawa resident Gavin Sean Griffiths who has been arrested and accused of terrorizing women in Canada's capital for the last month, sneaking up behind them and pulling down their pants.

I wonder if, like a car thief, he spent time casing out the women before making his move. Like, if a car has The Club on the wheel, many thieves will move on to the next car. Was it the same for Gavin if a chick was wearing a belt? I'm thinking yoga pants would be his preferred pant, right? Yup, these are the things I wonder about.

Also, question ladies: Would it be worse to be pantsed wearing your sexy thong, exposing your ass almost completely, or wearing your that-time-of-the-month granny panties, covering everything from your upper thighs to your belly button?

While Mr. Griffiths seems to have made it his mission to pull down as many pants as possible, the people behind the Christian propaganda film "Harmless" seem to want to make sure no one ever takes their pants off.

"Harmless" is a horror film in the "found footage" style about a poltergeist released from a box that terrorizes a family. Sounds harmless, right? Well, you haven't heard the best part yet. The box that releases this paranormal phenomenon is a... wait for it... box of porn!

The website for the film claims that the movie is, "sort of a social commentary on how pornography can destroy a family." I'm glad I read that, because after having watched the trailer I was sure the film was a commentary on how a bad script, mediocre acting and lack of any subtlety or nuance could destroy an audience.

Check out the funny (not at all scary) trailer for yourself:

I will say that the kid Tebowing was funny. But watching that trailer it felt like I was watching a porn parody of a horror film. I kept waiting for a scene in which the couple has a threesome with the porn poltergeist.

Not sure what I am talking about when I say "porn parody?" Check out some sites that specialize in just that, like Classic Porn Parody and Parody Pass.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at May 16, 2012 1:01 AM

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