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Opposites Attract and the Best Defense Ever!

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June 5, 2013

Love Through Thick And Thin
Image courtesy of DailyMail.co.uk.

I have studied the great philosophers, from Socrates to Foucault, but I think we can all agree that no one has shown as much insight and wisdom into the human condition as the team of Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat when they told us that "Opposites Attract." Case in point: 24-year-old Lizzie Elsburg and 28-year-old Chris Glasgow.

Now, I don't know if Chris likes movies and Lizzie likes TV, or if Lizzie takes things seriously and Chris takes things lightly. I also can't tell you if Lizzie goes to bed early or if Chris tends to party all night. Maybe Lizzie likes it quiet and Chris likes to shout. I don't know.

But what I do know is that these two met at an eating disorder clinic in Oxnard, California. Chris was there because he was an obese junk-food addict and Lizzie was there suffering from both anorexia and bulimia. When they met, Lizzie was 91 lbs. and Chris was weighing in at 420 lbs.

Lizzie has said that their determination to beat their disorders is what "drew us together." And Chris said, "I went to the clinic to lose weight and left with the love of my life." (How sweet is that?!)

From super-sweet to kind of bitchy, check out this awesome video featuring interactions between the news anchor and the weather lady on Philadelphia's morning news.

And finally we have a new entry into the "Best Defense Ever" sweepstakes.
British man Brian Whitehead was caught on CCTV last September going into a bar and placing an unidentified object under a woman's skirt. Prosecutors said that Brian was trying to take a photo up the woman's skirt, but police say that Whitehead told them... wait for it... "Maybe I was trying to light a fart. It could have been a joke. Maybe someone says, 'I bet you a fiver if you light her fart.'"

Okay, so that is a great defense, of course. But my favorite part of it is that he says "maybe." Like he knows it is completely ridiculous and even he isn't ready to commit to it. He is just throwing it out there and seeing how it plays, like a comedian trying out new material.

I bet you didn't think I could find a porn site with a farting theme. But you would be wrong because for you I got FemalesFarting. And I also have DogfartNetwork, although this one is just a great hardcore, interracial network and has nothing to do with actual farting.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at June 5, 2013 1:01 AM

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