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Meet The Writers

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August 9, 2013

Meet The Writers

"You do WHAT for a living?"

This is a common question the writers at RabbitsReviews hear when they explain their jobs to people. They punch in, visit adult sites, watch porn for several hours, write the reviews and punch out. It might sound great on the outside, but remember that they don't just look at the type of porn they personally like, but all types of porn, so they need an open mind and an enjoyment of pornography that goes beyond the casual.

To cap off our 10th anniversary week, we thought it would be great to speak with our writing staff and pick their brains about their jobs. We have written close to 12,000 reviews, the majority of them done by our current staff (two of our writers, me, Wayne King, and Zoe Roark, have moved into other areas of the company). I would dare say our staff has seen more pornography than any other on Earth! So who better to talk to about the sexy, funny and shocking sites we've been reviewing for 10 years.

What were your first impressions of the job?

April Scott: The only word to describe my first few days here is "surreal." My boss would walk by my desk and I had two people hardcore screwing on my computer screen and no one would even look twice since that was actually what I was supposed to be doing! Honestly, it still blows my mind that I get to do this every day.

Will Peters: I was overwhelmed by the sheer variety of porn offered. I was probably less shocked by some of the things I saw as far as people having unusual tastes and more surprised that there was enough of a market for there to be more than one porn site catering to those preferences.

A.K Anderson: That I was getting paid! Sure, the looking-at-porn thing was cool, but paying off my credit card and moving out of the two-bedroom apartment I shared with four other people was even better.

What niches were you completely unaware of before you began reviewing sites? Which ones completely surprised you?

Chris Parker: Three words: Complete. Rectal. Prolapse.

Adam Strong: Prolapsed anus and CBT. I already knew about extreme anal porn, but usually it involved stuff going into the booty and not seeing the booty get turned inside out. The first time I saw it, I thought something had majorly gone wrong behind the scenes and that the site only uploaded the video by accident.

April: The ones that surprised me weren't the more "extreme" ones like large insertions or urethral sounding, but it was the ones that focused on girls in casts or just showed you women's feet pushing pedals on a car. Those were the ones that had me quirking an eyebrow for sure. I had always assumed that you had to see nudity or sex to get sexually aroused and that's obviously not the case.

Will: The one I was completely unaware of and that still surprises me to this day is the balloon fetish. I remember on TV they'd sometimes make references to a burlesque act involving a woman dressed in nothing but balloons that she would then pop to slowly expose herself, but I know that for a true "looner," nudity doesn't even have to be involved. Just a performer blowing up a balloon until it pops is enough to get them off and I find that fascinating.

How do people react when they learn that you watch pornography for a living?

April: Most people are floored. They actually get really excited and shoot questions at me a mile a minute. They want to know what kind of sites we review and which ones we don't and how we go about it.

Will: Some people are definitely judgmental and don't approve of it, but most people fall somewhere in the range of thinking that it's sounds really boring or really cool. Also, I guess for some folks they're more surprised than anything else, because they never thought of porn resulting in a secondary industry of reviewing sites.

Chris: Some people are shocked that such a job exists. Others are legitimately intrigued and have lots of questions for me.

A.K.: I don't tell anyone. I only tell people about the porn I watch in my free time.

Does your family know what you do for a living? What do they think?

Will: I come from a very religious family and so no one knows. My mother and two sisters probably wouldn't approve for feminist reasons.

Adam: The only family member who doesn't know is my grandmother. She's the perfect Catholic in that she's everything stereotypical about them, except for the judgmental part since that goes against Jesus' teachings. As a result, she's always been super-supportive of whatever endeavors I take in life.

April: My family does know what I do and they knew from the moment I found out I got the job. It's kind of a family joke that I watch porn for a living since I went to an all-girls school and am a pretty quiet person.

What's the funniest thing you've seen on a porn site?

April: Well, that's a tough question. I've seen sperm being shot into eyes and noses and women reacting hilariously, but what really sticks out is a female fart site. I find flatulence hilarious and watching beautiful women farting into powder so it explodes out from behind them makes me laugh pretty hard.

Chris: Every single video posted on Freak Fuckers. It's too bad that the site isn't around anymore.

Will: I saw a doll based on a popular character come out of a dude's asshole once. I had skipped through part of the beginning of the video so I had no clue that it had been shoved up his butt to begin with, so it was a complete surprise when it emerged and I couldn't quite believe my eyes.

What's the most shocking thing you've seen on a porn site?

April: I've reviewed many Femdom and BDSM sites, so it's always shocking to me how much pain and torture the human body can endure in the name of pleasure, like bull whipping and breast bondage and even pussy clamps and electro play.

Adam: I once saw a model with seven cocks in her at the same time. Possibly Aurora Snow, but I'm not sure anymore. It was a gangbang scene that had a DP while the model was giving a double blowjob, but then the guy in her ass switched positions so that they were doing double vaginal.

If you could build a porn site, what would it have?

April: I'd want it to appeal to both women and men. I know many women like the harder sites that are geared more toward men and that many men will like the softer, more romantic sites that are advertised for women, but I find it rare to find both kinds of material on one site. Since I have varied interests and want different kinds of porn for different moods, I'd like to be able to see it all in one place.

Adam: I think my porn tastes are unoriginal, to be honest, so I'd probably focus on a niche-specific site with a funny name in order to stand out, like "Double-Stuffed Oreo Nookie" or something. Basically, it would be an interracial MMF site in which every scene has double penetration ending in a double creampie.

What have you come away with from reviewing porn sites?

April: I think it gave me a different view of sex and if I'm being truly honest, it's given me a different perspective on gender relations. I consider myself a feminist and watching women taking the submissive role on a mainstream hardcore, non-BDSM site sometimes gets my back up. I can't explain it really, but there are certain rough sites that I can't review because I feel that it degrades women. And as a woman, it can be very hard to see that. I know it's all consensual and it's a job and some women actually like that and get off on it, but I just can't help myself. There are existing stereotypes when it comes to sex and the female gender, and I dislike seeing them perpetuated in such a big and obvious way.

Will: Mainstream media has a much narrower view of what is sexually attractive than what is actually reflected by the diverse tastes of porn consumers. Males and females of all shapes and sizes make it into porn, especially the amateur stuff. However, if you asked someone to describe what a pornstar looked like, I think most people would have a similar response, describing the women as having big fake tits, pumped-up lips, blonde hair and perfect bodies while the men would all be in-shape jocks with huge cocks.

Will, you are the first and longest-tenured employee. What are the biggest changes you've seen with the site and industry in general?

Will: Video bit rates skyrocketed from what they once were without even taking into consideration the trend toward HD porn. A basic site with standard-definition videos now tends to delivers flicks that we once considered outstanding in quality, but now refer to as great or only good. Technology has come very far, although sometimes when you see a pimply butt or a razor-burned pussy, you wonder if crisper footage is really a good thing.

I can tell you that my job as a reviewer has become more and more demanding as far as the details I need to track. These relate to things that always had some effect on the big picture when it came to the score, but weren't necessarily individually tracked. I think tracking them makes for a fairer, more consistent scoring across all the reviews, which helps us maintain our spot as the number one porn review site. We've got to keep innovating and my having to learn new ways of doing things keeps the job fresh!

Have you been inspired to incorporate anything you've seen on a site into your personal life?

April: I have been very curious about adding certain sexual elements into my personal life, but I've yet to find a partner who is willing to experiment that much with me. Why don't we leave it at that.

A.K.: I put my foot down with my girlfriend when I started this job and now on-top-of-the-covers-with-the-lights-on is the only way I roll. Also, she stopped wearing a bra during sex and once a month I was allowed to put my hands under her shirt while we did it.

Adam: One thing people need to remember is that porn is your fantasies made reality. In some cases, fantasies are just that and I think it's important to separate fantasy from reality when it comes to sex.

Will: I'll leave the crazy sex acts to the pros, because I know that although they make it look easy, a lot of the trickier positions aren't all that pleasing for the participants involved. In real life, sex isn't about how it looks to someone watching, but how it feels for those involved.

Posted by Wayne King at August 9, 2013 1:01 AM

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