Man Escapes from Prison as a Woman... Kind Of

« In Search Of Unseen Porn |Main| Cum Facials Galore »

April 19, 2012

Man Escapes from Prison as a Woman... Kind Of
Image courtesy of GistExpress.com.

Every now and then I come across what I like to call an onion story. One that seems pretty small and simple at first, but as I continue to read about it, more and more layers emerge. This is one such story. Let us take it layer by layer, shall we?

LAYER 1:

Thirty-year-old Brazilian Ronald Silva is an alleged drug trafficker who recently attempted to escape from prison by dressing in drag. He shaved his arms and legs, "prettied up" his face, threw on some false nails and a dress, put on a wig and walked out unnoticed by the guards. Sounds pretty simple, right?

LAYER 2:

Where did Ronald get the bra and dress that he wore in his daring escape? Did he sew it together using pieces of fabric he accumulated over weeks from the prison laundry mat? Nope, he just exchanged clothing with his wife during one of her visits. WHAT?

Most of the stuff I read on this story focused on the question of whether or not the wife knew what he wanted her clothes for (she claims she had no idea he wanted to crossdress). But the question I have is how didn't anyone notice that the wife wasn't wearing the same clothes leaving the prison as she was when she arrived for her visit? Or even worse, was wearing her husband's prison clothes?

But even if the report got it wrong and rather than exchange clothes she just brought an extra set to give him, how did she get in with them (don't they check visitors' bags?) and then how did he leave the visiting room with them? You'd think the guards would at least pat the dude down after the visit, especially since he had a history of trying to escape. Yup! You read that right!

LAYER 3:

Silva had actually been transferred to that prison after a failed attempt to escape jail while awaiting trail on the drug trafficking charges. For that first attempt, Silva allegedly had armed men bust into the jail to break him out. You might think that would warrant him a little extra attention, but, alas, no.

Now, while most of the weird prison-escape-attempt stories I come across are failed attempts, the most impressive part of this one is that it was successful. Ronald Silva actually walked right out of prison dressed as a woman. So what happened after that, you ask? Well, I'm glad you did, because this is my favorite layer of the story.


LAYER 4:

So here we are. Ronald has escaped. His brilliant plan to walk right out of prison in woman's clothes couldn't have gone any better. And what does he do now? Well he obviously quickly gets changed and finds a place to hide out, right? Nope!

Mr. Silva is so happy with himself and how convincing his look is that he decides to celebrate his freedom and newfound feminine appeal by going for a walk. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

The only problem is that, as any guy who has tried knows, walking in high heels is not as easy as it looks. And unlike most women, Silva wasn't carrying a pair of flats in his purse. Cut to less than an hour later, a cop notices Silva walking strangely and he is arrested on the spot.

Dude! You aren't RuPaul! Take off the heels, grab a change of clothes drying on a clothes line and hide! You were able to find guys willing to arm themselves and try to break you out of jail. I'm sure you could've found someone to let you couch-surf for a night while you figured out your next move.

I don't know if Silva had access to the Internet in prison, but if he did, spending five minutes on YouTube watching this video could have made all the difference when he was on the run - or should I say walk.

Actually, I think Silva had Internet access, because based on his mug shot he appears to have gotten his "dress like a woman" tips from sites like My Sissy Boyfriend.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at April 19, 2012 1:01 AM

Email

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?