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Lesbo Barbie Does Love Pink

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August 25, 2006

Barbie's Naughty Lesbian Adventures.jpg

We've all heard those rumors about poor Ken. Every time, he gets an image makeover, he's turned gay. Meanwhile, let's face it. He's really a eunuch. Whether dressed in jeans with a leather vest or his too short tennis shorts, pink polo shirt and sweater swung over his shoulders, whether looking rough trade or preppy and non-threatening, any guy or gal is going to be out of luck.

However, Ken's fake bulge mightn't be the only reason he can't score with Barbie. According to Ananova (08/25/06), a Brazilian artist believes that the most famous doll in the world has a secret hidden away in her dream house closet. Somewhere between her Pepto-Bismol colored wardrobe and her quote-unquote boyfriend (Currently, they're on a break anyway.), Barbie experiments with lesbianism.

The Jornal de Sao Paulo newspaper reports that Karin Schwarz's latest art exhibition at a bar in the city of Curitiba displays Barbie in a series of compromising positions. The show is called "Amazing Girls" but Mattel the toy company that makes Barbie doesn't find the whole thing very amazing and has said either the artist dismantles the exhibit in 24 hours or she'll face legal consequences.

However, Ms. Schwarz remains resolute, "Barbie is exploited by Mattel. She wears a bikini, she shows off her belly, has big breasts and even has a boyfriend."

A Mattel spokesperson counters, "Barbie is a very proper lady and she is not happy about being portrayed as something that she isn't. We are going to sue and we hope that this teaches people a lesson. Also, Barbie is 46-years-old, she should be respected!"

I think what's most disturbing for me is that both parties refer to her like a real person. It's also funny that the artist believes that her castrated boyfriend is part of the misogynistic exploitation of the female image and that Mattel can't understand that any 46-year-old single woman faced with dating a man without a dick would find alternative solutions while facing her sexual prime.

Until there's a dream dildo in the nightstand of the dream house, what's a girl with two plastic mounds and no nipples, supposed to do?

Posted by Will Peters at August 25, 2006 10:58 AM

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