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December 4, 2006

Tattoo Check but where's her Beer Gut.jpg

Having come from a small town, the chicks from our only strip bar weren't so pretty. These "ladies" wouldn't cut it on Stripper Friends. Their Lee Press-On nails damaged bleached blonde hair and makeup applied with a trowel wasn't very appealing. It was the eighties, so these unsexy skanks wore neon tube tops, zebra stripe miniskirts, fishnets and lace-topped anklet socks. These working "treated" innocent townies to myriad fat rolls uncontained by spandex tops and jiggling cottage cheese thighs exposed below high hemlines.

I paint a pretty picture. When I moved to the big city, I realized that urban exotic dancers weren't all down and out trailer trash. It suddenly donned on me that stripping could pay for college not just eight offspring from seven different fathers. I finally understood why someone might pay gals money to take their clothes off. Back home, I thought customers might tip more for the whores to stay dressed.

The town tarts could have turned quite a profit with that extortion racket. They could have threatened to expose themselves all over town unless paid. Down at the town square on a hot summer day slightly disheveled and sweaty, threatening every passerby to exposed beer guts and naked pendulous breast tattoos unless a donation to a malt liquor stay cool fund was made. I of course have a vivid imagination inspired by an article I read this morning.

Milan, Italy makes me think of world famous for fashion. However, it might be the birthplace of a new trend minus designer garb. Paul Bombard of UK's The Times read in Corriere Della Sera journalist Michela Proietti's report on a sexy 24-year-old Milanese beauty who does a stripper dance on the poles in subway cars to earn cash. The hot vixen doesn't appear naked but instead dresses like a cat but does do lap dances for loose change.

Meanwhile, even though the strip clubs are better in my current city, I can tell you that nobody ever gets naked on the subway. Unless you count the occasional homeless man and that hardly makes me think of Milan. However, if the dude has enough tattoos and big enough belly, it might make me homesick for hometown strippers instead.

Posted by Will Peters at December 4, 2006 1:01 AM

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