Is That Heroin And $51.22 In Your Vagina, Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?!

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March 30, 2011

Karin Mackaliunas And Her Strange Object Insertions
Mugshot courtesy of Scranton PD.

Karin Mackaliunas is kind of like MacGyver. Her last name begins with the letters "Mac" and she likes to use everyday objects to help her get out of jams. MacGyver once used a paperclip to disarm a missile and Mackaliunas once used her vagina as a purse for drugs and money.

At least according to what I've been reading about this woman. The story begins with the fact that Mackaliunas had herself a car accident in Scranton, Pennsylvania about a week and a half ago.

The Scranton police searched Mackaliunas and found three bags of heroin inside of her coat. Only three bags you say. What's the big deal? Well, the big deal is that she had 54 more bags of heroin inside her vagina! (Yup, that's right folks).

She eventually became so uncomfortable that she confessed she had some "carry-on luggage"! But that's not all. She had also stuffed 31 empty bags, 8.5 prescription pills, and $51.22 in her pussy purse.

Now, I can understand why Mackaliunas would hide the drugs in her vagina. But I have two questions: Questions one: If you are putting 54 bags of heroin in your vagina to hide them from the police why don't you put the other three (the ones found in her coat pocket) up there also? And don't tell me there wasn't any room.

But if, lets just say, there really wasn't anymore room up there... And this leads right into my second question: Why put the money up there? I mean, if it comes down to a choice to either hide the money or the last three bags of heroin. I'm thinking, and maybe it's just me... HIDE THE HEROIN!

I've never tried heroin, but I've seen enough episodes of Intervention to feel pretty confident in saying that those three bags were probably worth more than $51.22. And while we're on the topic of Intervention: If you are an addict being followed around by a camera crew and they tell you that you are going to the hotel for your last interview... IT'S AN INTERVENTION!

Anyway, Mackaliunas was jailed "on charges of possession with intent to deliver a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia and two counts of possession of a controlled substance." Her bail's been set at $25,000. Wouldn't it have been awesome if she had just stood up in the courtroom, dropped her drawers, spread her butt cheeks open and crapped out her bail money? Again, maybe it's just me?!

Amazingly, Karin Mackaliunas isn't the only woman who's been in the news for strange object insertions as of late. Katarzyna Szymanska, a 23-year-old Polish woman, recently got caught with 71 balls of heroin in her vagina and she's now facing five years in jail. This just proves my point that there was probably room for those three extra bags.

So, what can we take away from all this? Well, I guess if you're going to stick things in your pussy that don't belong in your pussy, you really should be doing it on a website that specializes in strange object insertions. Seriously, go model for sites like HD Insertions, Intense Penetrations or Mega Penetrations. It'll keep you out of trouble and you might even make some money doing it. PUT THE MONEY IN YOUR WALLET!

Posted by Will Peters at March 30, 2011 1:01 AM

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