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Is That a Shit Tattoo on Your Back or Did You Fuck My Best Friend

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December 2, 2011

Shit Tattoo on Your Back
Image courtesy of BuzzFed.com.

Awhile ago I wrote about a guy who had tattooed a penis on another guy's back without him knowing. And today I am back with another unwitting tattoo story, except this time the back belongs to a chick and the tattoo is a pile of shit - literally. (Well, it isn't literally a tattoo made of excrement. It's a tattoo of a pile of it.) And those aren't the only differences between the two stories.

In the first story, the tattoo artist did what he did because the tattooee had supposedly made a sexually explicit comment about the guy's girlfriend. In this story, the guy, Ryan Fitzgerald, did what he did because the girl, Rossie Brovent, his girlfriend, had been cheating on him with his best friend. Also, the victim in story one is bipolar, autistic and schizophrenic, with the mental age of a 10-year-old. The chick in story two isn't any of those things.

And another very important difference is that it would seem Ryan had learned a very important lesson from that first story. And this is where I have to give the guy props: He got Rossie to sign a consent form agreeing that the tattoo design was "at the artist's discretion." Booyah!

She claims he got her drunk on cheap wine and tequila shots before she signed, so he does lose points there. But the fact that he was thorough enough to get a consent form is very impressive, I must say. Also, unlike the jerk from the first story, Ryan did a nice job with the tattoo. You can see his work above and this is what the penis tat looks like:

Penis Tattoo on Your Back

As you can see, the penis tattoo wasn't just a dick move (pun totally intended), it was also bad art. Now look at the pile of shit. It's three dimensional, there is some nice shading and the flies and stink lines are nice touches that really complete the piece. I mean, if someone wanted a tattoo on their back of a pile of shit, I think they would be very happy with what Rossie ended up with.

What about the best friend? That's what I want to know. I assume Ryan was/is just as angry at the best friend, right? I bet that dude will be sure to read every contract, waiver and consent form he signs from now on. If I were him I would even start reading those ridiculously long EULAs (End User License Agreement) online before clicking the "I agree" box!

And if he thinks Ryan will get over it any time soon, we learned earlier this week at a Canadian Football League alumni luncheon that time doesn't heal all wounds.

But wait! Breaking news! As I've been writing this post (I was literally writing that last paragraph and embedding the video), more news about the story is being revealed and it has exposed the biggest difference between the two revenge tattoo tales - the fact that the first story is true and the second one probably isn't!

Yup, it appears that the shit-revenge story is all a big hoax. And yes, I am as disappointed as you are about that. One of my co-workers told me to make some kind of, "Don't believe all the shit you read on the Internet" joke here. But I think we are all better than that, right?

Has this story put you in a revenge state of mind? Do you want to look at some porn? Well, those two things come together on a few sites, some better than others, like on Sex Revenger, GF Revenge and Revenge TV.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at December 2, 2011 6:30 AM

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