How To Give Head

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May 28, 2011

How To Give A Head
Image courtesy of The Art Of Blowjob.

For lots of dudes, the best kind of sex is blowjob sex! For these guys, you'll need to bring your "A game" to your BJ game if you want them to consider you as a Blowjob Winner. Luckily, you've got a man on the inside (namely me) to tell you everything you need to know about how to give head.

Step 1: Make sure we've got something to watch. Try putting some porn on the TV for background noise and visual stimulation. Other TV recommendations include Spartacus: Blood And Sand for its wicked sex scenes mixed with badass action. Shows devoid of sex scenes can help the dude last longer by keeping him distracted, but I recommend staying away from sitcoms or else he'll start sporting a hard-on every time he hears a laugh track.

Step 2: Put the vacuum cleaner to shame. The Art Of Blowjob giving requires that you suck at various levels of strength. Three techniques I find most enjoyable include "sipping through a straw," the "black hole" and "The Village." Sipping through a straw is when you're lightly sucking on the tip of the head. The black hole is when you suck up everything you possibly can into your mouth. The Village is an M. Knight Shyamalan movie that sucked so hard the Universe nearly imploded. If you really want to leave your man weak in the knees, apply that much suction to his cock from time to time.

Step 3: Receiving the cumshot. A good blowjob always ends when a chick catches it. That doesn't mean you should be grabbing a catcher's mitt (do you want what happened with the laugh track to happen when the World Series is on?). If in the mouth is a no-go for you, try letting him cum on your face, tits or ass. One trick to avoid the spunking altogether is to have a hot friend of yours take it for you. Trust me when I say that we really don't mind you using a substitute this way.

If everybody who reads this follows my instructions, I should be talking to Only Blowjob professionals by now. Feel free to practice on as many men as you can. Once you've got the basics down, spice things up by combining your handjob skills with your oral abilities. Deep throating and acrobats are best left to the intermediates.

Posted by Adam Strong at May 28, 2011 1:01 AM

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