Porn ReviewsSpecialsAdult PersonalsPorn TrialsPorn BlogSearchBookmark

Horse Semen: Not Just For Making Horse Babies Anymore

« Replace That Dance Fest With A Fuck Fest! |Main| Spicy Interracial Sex Stories »

July 7, 2011

Horse Semen
Image courtesy of OddityCentral.com .

Have you heard the one about the horse that walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" How about the one about the horse that walks into a bar in New Zealand and the bartender asks, "Hey, can you jerk off into these glasses, so I can charge my customers $25 to do shots of your semen?" You know what they say about "It's funny 'cause it's true." Well, in this case it is.

Not the horse walking into a bar and jerking off into glasses obviously (although that is something I would pay $25 to see), but the part about shots is all true. As part of the 14th Annual Monteith's Beer & Wild Food Challenge, the Green Man Pub in Wellington, New Zealand, was serving up $25 shots of apple-flavored horse semen.

As you might have imagined, the majority of the customers with enough balls to do these shots were female. Now, can you imagine the jokes made by the guys around the table as the ladies threw their heads back to do the shot? "Hey guys, I always knew she liked to swallow" and "If you like that, I got a shot of something you can swallow down also, baby!" You get the idea.

I wonder if female horses have to go through the same thing. I wonder if when they are sucking off some horse stud, they have to stop in the middle and nay at him to make sure he tells her when he is about to cum, so she can pull her head away and jerk him off onto his chest. (Do you think male horses keep paper towels and baby wipes in their stable for just such occasions?)

And if female horses don't swallow, can you just imagine if they happened to be at the bar that day just hanging out for happy hour, relaxing after a long day at the race track? They look over and see humans doing shots of horse semen and they just want to go up to all the women in the bar and tell them, "Stop it. We don't even swallow that stuff!"

If you're curious about how they actually collect semen from horses check this out:

I was also wondering if you could actually get drunk on the stuff. And if you could, since horse cocks are so much bigger than human cocks and produce so much more sperm, would that make the ugly girl sitting next to me more fuckable than if I was sitting there ordering 2 for 1 Coors Lights for five hours trying to get my buzz on?

Maybe it's like absinthe, but instead of seeing a little green fairy when you drink it, you see a little green jockey who gets on your back and starts to whip you while you run around the bar.

It seems like this has brought up more questions than answers. But that's okay, because sometimes questions are the true answers. You can think about that till next time.

And if you now can't get the idea of chicks doing shots of sperm out of your head, I can recommend a few websites where that is part of their repertoire. The sperm in these glasses is human not horse, but it should still do the trick: Sperm Cocktail, Sperm Suckers.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at July 7, 2011 1:01 AM

Email

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?