He Must Have Missed The Memo...

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June 7, 2006

Jimmy-John Whitehouse.jpg

A certain adrenaline rush comes with misbehaving at work. Suddenly the tedium of earning a living seems dangerous. When I was much younger during my second office job, I was having some major issues at home. In order to keep a stiff upper lip at work, I found it helped to keep something lower down stiff by surfing porn. Unfortunately, my office was "open concept" and my boss enjoyed "MBWA" (management by walking around).

I still remember his horrified eyes locking onto mine as they drifted up from the significant bulge in my pants even as I alt-tabbed away from the nasty site I'd been ogling. He walked away without a word.

I've always been good at giving people the reaction they expect. I wasn't ashamed of what I'd been doing but I sure knew it was a shame that I'd been caught. I went to my boss with my tail between my legs (his expression helped me lose my erection) and successfully pleaded for mercy.

It was all training for Rabbits in the end, the porn surfing, not the tearful begging.

I say that to console poor Jim Whitehouse whose case for wrongful dismissal was thrown out of court in Calgary, Alberta. His former employer's, RBC Dominion Securities, $6 million countersuit for harm to reputation was also dismissed, according to CBC.ca (06/06/06).

Jimmy, who we'll call "John" often agreed to pay enterprising young women to come to his office after hours so he could invest his rising stock in their portfolios. Unfortunately, the 16-year veteran of the Canada's largest banking firm, stiffed one "entrepreneur" for $200 despite his earning about $424 000 a year. She showed up at work the next day demanding payment and he was summarily fired.

Whitehouse's defense lawyer claims Jimmy-John never received a warning despite bringing whores through the doors for ages so his employer was condoning the after hours boning. Since prostitution is illegal in all of Canada, one might not need to have read the memo.

Have no worries, Jim. Your shameless lack of common sense combined with a willingness to take no responsibility after screwing someone both literally and figuratively, promises you a bright future in politics.

Posted by Will Peters at June 7, 2006 11:45 AM

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