Have Yourself A Merry Little XXXmas

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December 3, 2010


Movie courtesy of Teen Dreams.

It is once again the Xmas season! A time when the writers make their Christmas lists and ask for memberships to Teen Dreams and Asshole Fever. Chris Parker starts ordering his Christmas comics and A.K uses the spruce-scented candles to show us how he can light his farts on fire. There is always a buzz in the office and we sing carols (Jingle Balls, Cum All Ye Faithful, The Little Fluffer Boy) and roast and crack our nuts. However, the best part comes when we all sit around the foosball table and our boss reads "'Twas The Night Before XXXmas." And it goes a little something like this:

'Twas the night before Christmas, and inside my home,
Were six pretty pornstars all wanting to bone.
I wasn't that hung, but they didn't quite care,
They needed some penis and mine was right there!
The pornstars were horny and naked in bed,
They'd soon earn their pay checks by giving me head.
I grabbed hold of my penis and filled up their yaps,
Neglecting to mention I once had the clap.
After five minutes, my semen did splatter,
I sprayed all the gals with my sticky ball batter
It stayed on their faces like a milk mustache.

Then I tore open the window threw out my toy stash,
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave a lubed up shine to my biggest dildo,
When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,
But a pimped out old RV drawing rapidly near,
With a horny driver, so very cool and slick,
I knew in a moment it must be Big Dick!
Faster than an 18-year-old virgin he came,
And he yelled extra loud, sounding rather insane;
Hey, why the sex toys? Your wife's quite the vixen!

On strapons (brand Cupid's) sucked blonde girls and vixens!
They spread wide their lips! throats fucked deep to the wall!
Now thrust away! thrust away! thrust away all!
As dry heaves and choking from inexperience lies,
The lesbians doth pound, until their chick cries,
And then up on her feet, waist bent with ass up,
Comes nasty sex (but not like Two Girls, One Cup).
And then, after fucking, I heard quite the "Oof!"
As they withdrew the heads, bums burning around,
Time to suck on some boobies, quite big and quite round.

I was soaked all in cum, from my crown to my foot,
And my tender flesh burned from the flogging I took,
Welts and sores I had all over my back,
I probably got those from being bound to the rack,
My eyes, how swollen, how bleary with tears,
My ego, so bruised from my cruel Master's jeers,
My mouth was still gagged, wads of spit hanging from it,
And he soon produced clamps and grabbed at one tit,
He adjusted his red hat and called to his wife,
"Get the strapon, dear and give him the fuck of his life!
Mrs. Claus reappeared, fake cock in place,
She screwed me hard, then Santa came on my face.

His jolly old elf was chubby and plump and it hung to the right,
And I laughed when I saw it so he smacked me good night.
He jerked his head hard and winked his good eye,
But I had nothing to dread as his load wooshed by.
This pissed him off more and he went straight to work,
Filling my mouth with my stockings as he continued to jerk.
Laying his fingers on my nose he told me to play dead,
All I could do was nod as his load covered my forehead!
He whistled at his team and sprang out the door,
And they all jumped in the car and put the peddle to the floor,
Ere he skidded away and tore up my grass,
I heard him exclaim, "Happy Christmas b*tch, next year I'm fucking your ass!"

Posted by April Scott at December 3, 2010 1:01 AM

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