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September 29, 2006

Smokey and the Brownie Bandit

Folks enjoy a whiff of Mary Jane's spliff do unusual things. Need proof, check out Beaver Bong. It didn't score well last time it but too much of the chronic ain't so motivating. The inevitable slacking means it's lacking in new episodes. Nevertheless, it's a unique concept especially after a few tokes.

Ironically, the evil weed seems to have the opposite effect on some folks, motivating them actually to do crazy stuff rather than merely to dream up schemes without follow-through. Before you say it, I know I'm misusing and abusing the idea of irony.

But seriously man, like wouldn't it be cool, if there were like no dictionaries and stuff. Then you could say like any word and other people would like totally understand anyway?

Like, I'd say "fire truck" and you'd just know that I'm terrified of red W&Ws since like they were totally banned before for killing people with radioactive food dye. Now, they're back and totally still red so like I want know what's up with that?

Except one time I read once on message board that the red ones were always still in every box but the government started covering them up with other colors. So, like we were all eating them and getting like all radioactive and stuff so then the CIA's secret satellite was totally tracking us from outer space...

After strong coffee and fresh air, so I'm feeling less paranoid. Back to a story from The Smoking Gun (09/26/06), Alex Sawyer and her boyfriend, Andrews Wilkins got a bad case of the munchies one night. Some cravings just can't be met with substitutes is seems.

Sawyer and Wilkins decided to break into the man's former place of employment, a Domino's Pizza franchise in a strip mall in North Carolina. The dude was fired for stealing a cash box in the store but didn't return for more dough. He was after batter instead. Having never tasted Domino's Brownie Squares, he decided to break in and bake a batch.

Various charges, including a couple of felonies have been laid against the pair. Lesson learned, next time you're high, make porn not brownies, dudes!

Posted by Will Peters at September 29, 2006 11:06 AM

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