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From Germans Sleeping Less to a Guitar Urinal

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June 14, 2012

Border Guards With No Sense Of Boundaries
Image courtesy of Dailymail.co.uk.

There were just too many stories I wanted to talk about this week, so rather than pick just one I decided to throw them all at you. Let's jump on in, shall we?

Sleep: Germans vs. Brits

If you are British and on vacation and wondering why all the sunloungers are already filled with Germans when you get down to the beach in the morning, I can tell you that it is because you are sleeping longer than they are.

Researchers are telling us that while Brits sleep for an average of 7 hours and 21 minutes every night, Germans average 8 minutes less than that. They also average only 15 minutes of snoozing time, while those of you in the U.K. go for 20 minutes. They also get to the office half an hour earlier and on vacation they get to the sunloungers earlier as well.

The good news for all you Brits is that your sleeping habits are more in tune with your natural body clock and, according to one professor, sleeping longer helps with language skills, creativity and memory. Hmm, now what could the Germans possibly not want to remember?

A Fuckin' Fine for Public Swearing

Near Boston is a town called Middleborough where, as of this week, you can be fined 20 fucking dollars for swearing in public. This shit proposal passed with a fucking 183-50 vote.

What is kind of interesting about this shit is that the town has actually had a bylaw against public profanity since fucking 1968. The problem was that because it made cursing a crime, it was rarely enforced because it was a bitch to go through the time and money to take the case through the damn courts. Now they will decriminalize it, thus allowing police to write an asshole ticket just like for a traffic violation.

Hitchhiker Shot

Hitchhiker Ray Dolin was sitting by the highway in Montana waiting for a ride last Saturday night. A car pulled up beside him and Dolin thought the guy was going to give him a ride, but as he approached the car, the driver pulled out a gun, shot him in the arm and drove off.

The best part about this story, besides the fact that Dolin is okay, and the reason I am bringing it up, is that Ray Dolin was hitchhiking across the United States writing a memoir called "The Kindness of America."

A Cirque Du Soleil BJ

A couple of weeks ago at a Cirque Du Soleil performance in California several people allegedly saw off-duty U.S. border patrol agent Kallie Helwig giving head to off-duty U.S. border patrol agent Gerald Torello Jr. Now, at first glance, you, like me, were probably thinking, "Way to go Gerald! You got yourself a freak, dude. Enjoy!" And if you saw the picture at the top of this post, you'll see that Kallie is also pretty hot. Unfortunately, the story isn't that simple.

First off, there were young people sitting one row in front of them and they had turned around and were watching. Come on, guys. If you are going to do the public BJ thing, you have to do better at making sure people aren't looking.

Second - and this is the deal breaker for me - the BJ couple waited by the exit after the show for the woman who had been the most vocal about asking them to stop and getting the attention of security. As she was leaving, Kallie punched her in the face while Gerald egged her on, saying "...you can take her" and "Go on, babe." What the fuck is that all about?

Instead of getting out of there and going to finish the blowjob (I'm thinking Gerald must have been rocking some blue balls from having to stop in the middle), they stick around to beat up one of the people who caused them to stop having oral sex in public?

The Greatest Urinal Ever

It's called Guitar Pee. I could tell you about it, but how about I just tell you it looks awesome and let you watch the video.

In honor of some of the stories covered this week, here are some porn sites you might want to check out: German Baby Dolls, Teen Hitchhikers, Public Sex Adventures

Posted by A.K. Anderson at June 14, 2012 1:01 AM

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