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Frenchman Didn't Fuck His Wife Enough and Now He Must Pay

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September 8, 2011

Fuck His Wife
Image courtesy of Telegraph.co.uk.

A 51-year-old man has been told by a French appeals court that he must pay his ex-wife $14,000 for not fucking her enough during their 21 years of marriage. The court cited the French legal code that states that married couples must agree to a "shared communal life" and that this implies that "sexual relations must form part of a marriage."

I'm not married, but I think I speak for all of my married male friends when I say, HELL YA! This leads me to the first thing that caught my attention about this story.

If you have ever listened to any standup comedy or watched a sitcom you know how it is a pretty universal joke that in a marriage it is the husband who is always trying to have sex and the wife is doing all that she can not to have to deal with it. So, hearing that it was the wife that was suing for lack of sex was a total against-the-grain type of thing. And then there is the whole Frenchman mystique!

For centuries the Frenchman has been touted as a great lover and women have swooned over their suave ways and strong libidos. I mean, it's called a French kiss for heaven's sake! But, it appears that, to quote Bob Dylan, "the times, they are a-changing."

Check out Johnny Depp teaching Amy Locane to French kiss in this great scene from Cry Baby

The French Institute of Public Opinion did a survey in which they questioned 1,000 adults and they found that 76% of them "suffer relationship problems due to a poor sex life." And half of the people polled also said they had "no desire" to make love.

What's going on France?! Are you all too busy protesting against the immigrant population? Maybe you are all too tired from trying to see the entire contents of The Louvre in one day (trust me it is almost impossible to do). Are you just exhausted from being rude to American tourists or do you have too much on your mind, like how easily you gave into the Germans during WWII? I know it's not because you are spending all your time at Euro Disney, because no one is going there!

Well, whatever the reason, the world is changing and it is time for a new land of the lover to emerge. In the future will I be ending my dates awkwardly leaning in trying to Australian kiss the girl? Or, will I be on the dance floor at some club grinding against the wall and Ethiopian kissing some drunk chick I just met? Only time will tell!

Okay, now go watch some porn with a French connection: Louis De Mirabert, French Foot Fetish, Cinema Erotique and Extreme Kream.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at September 8, 2011 1:01 AM

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