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Feel Like a Virgin Again With "18 Again" Cream

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September 19, 2012

18 Again Cream
Image courtesy of XanaduAfterHours.com.

Are you an Indian woman about to get married? Are you worried because while your husband is expecting you to be a virgin, you have actually had sex before and are concerned that on your wedding night the tightness (or lack thereof) of your pussy will give you away? Well, have no fear, because 18 Again cream is here!

Launched within the last month or so, 18 Again cream is a "rejuvenation and tightening" product made from natural ingredients, including gold dust, aloe, almonds and pomegranates.

Now, just to be clear, the product is not claiming to restore a chick's virginity, but rather to restore the emotions of being a virgin. As the owner of the company, Rishi Bhatia, says, "We are only saying, 'feel like a virgin' - it's a metaphor. It tries to bring back that feeling when a person is 18."

Really? Now, I'm no girl, but do you females really want to restore the emotions and feelings of being a virgin? Were those really such good times? And in order to do that the cream would have to do more than just tighten your vagina, wouldn't it?

I mean does the cream make you wear bulky sweaters and on dates you only give out awkward handjobs and blowjobs in the backseat of cars? Does it make you feel inferior when you are around your girlfriends who have already had sex? Does it cause you to finally have sex with the captain of the football team only to have him ignore you the following day and get back together with the head cheerleader who now hates you and tells the entire school that you're a slut?

Here is a gay, very-in-shape topless guy's take on sex with a virgin:

All this talk of female virgin creams got me thinking about whether there is a similar cream for guys that restores the emotions of being a virgin and makes them feel 18 again. Has anyone invented a cream that makes a guy take five minutes to put on a condom, have sex on the floor in his parent's basement, cum in 15 seconds and then tell all his friends the next day? Personally, I would prefer a cream that allows me to have sex with 18-year-old girls. But that's just me.

Speaking of virgins (real and fake), might I suggest, Spoiled Virgins, 18 Virgin Sex and Virgin Teen Lesbians.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at September 19, 2012 1:01 AM

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