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Dude Accused of Masturbating at Walmart

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June 23, 2014

 Accused Of Masturbating At Walmart
Image courtesy of OKCFox.com.

In my never-ending quest for stories to share with you I come across tons like this one about Derek Bennett and his Tulsa, Oklahoma, Walmart masturbation session. However, what made this one stand out for me were three things.

Number 1: The dude's mug shot.

Master Bait
Image courtesy of PhotoBucket.com.

Normally mug shots show the "perp" looking angry or sad or drugged out or even all three, but not Derek Bennett. Just look at that photo and tell me you don't see a little smile there and that he doesn't look just a little bit pleased with himself.

Number 2: He didn't think anyone could see him!

So when the cops arrested him he supposedly told them that he was surprised that people had seen him. What!? If you thought no one could see you, it implies this wasn't an exhibitionist thing and if that's the case why not just go home and do it or at least go to the bathroom, right? I'm not buying it!

Number 3: He knows his rights!

This one might be my favorite. As the story goes, when the cops arrested him, besides his "shock" that anyone had seen him, he also told the police that he had gone to high school and knew his rights. What I want to know is if he was trying to say that he learned all about his rights in high school or if he was just trying to impress the cops and let them know he was a high school graduate?

Either way that is a great line I think everyone should use when they get into any kind of situation with the police. I know that it will be the first thing coming out of my mouth the next time I get pulled over for speeding.

Speaking of masturbation, check out this "masturbation tips" skit:

And as for porn sites this week how about we stick with the penis-stroking theme, but have hot chicks doing the stroking? Yup, it is time for some handjobs: ClubTug, MILFTugs and ManoJob.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at June 23, 2014 6:30 AM

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