Porn ReviewsSpecialsAdult PersonalsPorn TrialsPorn BlogSearchBookmark

Chimp Loves Porn and Teacher Offers Blowjob

« Good Times with Gloryholes |Main| Extreme Gangbang? These Folks Are In! »

January 17, 2013

Chimp Loves Porn
Image courtesy of Chrome.Mid-Day.com .

The second I saw the story about a chimpanzee that watches porn my head started to swirl with all the possible monkey jokes, puns and turns of phrase available: monkey see, monkey do; monkey business; curious George; monkeying around; get your filthy hands off me you damn dirty apes!; hey, hey we're the Monkees; it was beauty killed the beast; and, of course, spanking the monkey. However, I couldn't decide which one to go with, so how about I just tell you the story?

Gina is a chimp at the Seville zoo. Awhile back she was supplied with a television and a remote control. Well, she flipped through the channels and it didn't take long for her to find the adult station and within a few days, that channel was the one she was spending the most time on.

I think I need to get a chimp for a pet. That way when my girlfriend comes home and finds porn on the TV I can just say that the monkey did it!

Watch this hot British chick talk about why girls watch porn:

As for the "teacher offering a blowjob" story, it all started when Mary Maloney, a 53-year-old middle school math teacher, crashed her van into a pickup truck and then just drove off.

A witness saw the incident, tracked down her car and called the cops. The officer 'smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person" and found an empty gallon jug of wine behind the driver's seat.

On the drive to the police station Maloney asked, "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go?" and she also allegedly offered to suck the cop's dick and allow him to fondle her breasts. I like how she threw the breast fondling in there as if that was going to be what tipped things her way.

I'm thinking that if the blowjob isn't enough, some titty touching ain't going to make him change his mind. If she really wanted to add some incentive to the cock-sucking pot she should have offered to let him finger her ass or cum in her face. You know, things that he probably isn't getting at home. Just offering up her 53-year-old tits doesn't really add much value to the deal!

Speaking of 53-year-old tits and blowjobs and sex, here are some mature porn sites: 40SomethingMag, OldSpunkers and 50PlusMILFs.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at January 17, 2013 1:01 AM

Email

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?