Cheese or Oral Sex?

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May 8, 2013

Cheese or Oral Sex
Image courtesy of ShuttlestockviaHuffingtonPost.com.

Let me start by saying that I LOVE CHEESE! I love all kinds of cheese, I go to local farmers markets and cheese shops and buy some delicious cheeses at least once every week or two. Now, having said that, if it came down to living without cheese or oral sex... GOOD-BYE CHEESE! Well, it seems that I am in the minority!

From 2006-2012 the student blog Bwog.com asked 222 people at the University of Columbia this simple question: "Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese?" And the majority responded with oral sex.

A reported 42% said they would rather give up oral sex, 30% said they would give up cheese and 28% gave unclear answers or avoided the question altogether. And if the inconclusive responses are disregarded they found that 64% of the ladies and 53% of the dudes would opt to give up oral sex.

Now, it should be said that the blog also states that there were a couple problems with how the data was collected. You see, the respondents weren't truly random - they were all volunteers. Also "This data was [also] gathered over six years . . . . It is possible that social attitudes regarding not only the subjects of this question, but the questions themselves have changed." And don't forget that nearly 30% of respondents refused to answer properly.

The article goes on to say that a "more formalized study would be needed in order to come to a clear conclusion about the preferences of Columbia's graduating classes."

I say fuck all that. I don't care if they were handing out $20 bills and boxes of Kraft Dinner to any student who picked cheese over oral sex, there is just something very wrong in the world when people are taking cheese over oral sex. And remember, I LOVE CHEESE!

The only thing I can think is that there are lots of guys and girls out there who just aren't very good at giving oral pleasure and, as such, the people they are with don't truly appreciate how much better oral sex is than cheese. And don't forget, I LOVE CHEESE!

On a completely different note, check out this awesome rap battle where a white dude in a cardigan owns everyone he goes up against:

And then check out some girls whose oral-sex abilities would make anyone give up cheese (man and woman): OnlyBlowjobs, TheArtOfBlowjobs and LezCuties.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at May 8, 2013 1:01 AM

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