Can You Hear Me Crazy Now? Dutch Woman Calls Ex-Boyfriend 65,000 Times

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September 15, 2011

Can You Hear Me Crazy Now
Image courtesy of BusinessInsider.com.

So the story here is pretty simple. About a week ago a Dutch women was arrested and charged with stalking after having called her ex-boyfriend over 65,000 times in the last year. (The above photo shows the many phones the police confiscated from the woman's home.) Seems pretty self-explanatory, right? Well, those of you who have been following my weekly posts know that often what attracts me to a story are the questions it brings up. This story is no different.

First off, as I'm sure most of you are doing right now, I had to do the math. For those of you without a calculator or a cell phone with one, 65,000 calls in a year breaks down to about 178 calls a day, which breaks down even further to just over seven calls an hour and that means one call every 8.1 minutes. But wait, even crazy stalker ladies have to sleep, right?

Let us assume that she is sleeping only five hours a night (given how obviously dedicated she is to calling the guy that doesn't sound unreasonable). This leads to a new calculation of over nine calls per waking hour and one call every 6.4 minutes. She would have already made two calls in the time it has taken me to write these three paragraphs.

Speaking of the Dutch, let's take a break and check out this great "banned" Heineken TV commercial:

With the math out of the way we can move on to the whole ex-boyfriend part of the story. The fact is that while she claimed to be in a relationship with the guy, the man has denied that they even had a relationship.

But that's not the funny part. The funny part is that the woman argued to the judges that she had a relationship with the man and that the number of calls she made wasn't excessive. Really? When I'm in a relationship I like when my girlfriend calls me sometimes more than a couple of times a day (sometimes more depending on how often we have phone sex), but 178 times a day? I can't even imagine the chaffing!

I think that unless someone has a condition that requires them to answer the phone every 6.4 minutes during their waking hours in order to live, then there is no reason to call anyone that much. Oh, wait, I take that back. If there is some kind of "Lost" situation that requires you to dial a set pattern of numbers on a phone every 8.1 minutes and then press "send" in order to save the world, it is also acceptable to make that many phone calls. From what I read, neither of those situations was applicable here.

As a final coda on this story, a judge at her preliminary hearing granted the woman bail with the condition that she leave the guy alone. I'll give you one guess as to what she did within hours of being released.

We all know what they say about idle hands, so keep yours busy and use your phone for non-stalking purposes with these porn sites: Reality Kings Mobile, Brazzers Mobile, Porno 4 Portables and Crazy Porn Mobile.

P.S. There is no mention of it in anything I read, but we'll assume the man tried changing his number and making it unlisted, right?

Posted by A.K. Anderson at September 15, 2011 1:01 AM

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