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November 6, 2006

Extra Big Sausage

One of my all-time favorite sites, as far as premises go, is Big Sausage Pizza. It cracks me up every time. What could be more classic than the idea of a pizza delivery guy getting it on with some hot chick who ordered her pie with extra meat? The promo shots are especially enjoyable with the double cheesy scenes of the dudes who stick their dicks through the bottom of the boxes.

Sometimes life imitates art or at least tries profiting from an overused idea. According to a story out of The Dominion Post in New Zealand, one pizzeria has decided to make their meat lovers pizza extra spicy promotionally speaking at least. Since this new pizza is called "Lust" then why shouldn't its mailed promotional info include a specially packaged condom from its creator, fast-food chain named Hell. In all, 170,000 of the controversial prophylactic promos have been delivered.

Hell Pizza spokesman Matt Blomfield said the pamphlets were intended as a "cool, funny" marketing tool as well as a great opportunity to encourage safe sex as an added extra. "We did a campaign that we thought was really funny but we've also managed to get a message out there and get some people talking about a topic that we really should address."

One poor retirement-age couple in Lower Hutt were shocked and dismayed when they realized that the little package contained a rubber since the Wards had assumed that it would prove to be a moist towelette. Mrs. Ward suggested how age inappropriate the content was since if she was a young mother she wouldn't want to have to explain to her son or daughter what the thing was if he or she got to the mail first.

Since she was naive enough to think it was a damp paper towel inside the package, I'm not sure she'd be the most qualified to describe to anyone impressionable what the device is actually used for at any rate. I simply say, if it weren't for these little babies, you'd be sharing your pizza with a dozen other brothers and sisters.

Posted by Will Peters at November 6, 2006 1:01 AM

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