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December 13, 2006

Seeing is Believing.jpg

Christmas is a time replete with many myths and folklore. Almost as many, as exist in the world of porn. They always say seeing is believing though and when you see the giant black rod of Mr Biggz piston ramming tiny white pussy, while you might just rub something other than your eyes in disbelief. As near as I can tell, it's the genuine article.

It makes a refreshing change from some other monster cock sites that seem to rely on fake tools to fool fans as if one can't figure out the trick when false dicks fall off the pricks wearing them.

I'm not sure which site it was that the Peacock was reviewing on his screen behind me but he had to laugh and replay the scene for me, as in one of the sex scenes a ridiculously long prosthetic penis fell right off some dude while he tried to screw some overacting blonde.

You'd think that they might have taken the time to edit out the blooper but he and his pal, also presumably outfitted with a floppy phallic falsie, just kept drilling the babe up her snatch and her well-lubed pooper tube as if nothing had happened.

XXX-mas Tree.jpg

I never thought that porn producers would resort to such primitive means to falsify the big guns in their arsenals of mass fornication. I thought they used camera angles instead. If they can make Hollywood actors like Cruise look like a full-grown man after needing a hand up to go couch jumping on national TV, I figured anything is possible.

Anyway, the C-word makes believers out of all of us, as many Xmas miracles unfold. One giant prick is realer than Santa Claus and living next-door to folks in proudly and apparently aptly named Penistone. It sounds like Wilma Flintstone's dildo. However, according to Jake Morris of the UK's Mirror, it's a real place and home to disgraced 47-year-old Alan Parker who had to agree to change the tree in his yard.

The 10-foot penis-shaped shrub decorated with lights in his front garden didn't amuse most of his neighbors and someone even called the police. He was nuts but he wasn't busted. Instead, the police requested the removal of his "fairy lights" as the English call them, since that made his giant penis-tree particularly offensive. Mr. Parker has since decided to trim his bush differently.

A widow, Constance Barnard living next-door said, "I didn't know we had anyone around here so pious as to complain to police. I'm a churchgoer but I don't think about it. I'm a live-and-let-live lady. It looks more like a mushroom."

I wonder if you ate would it make you grow really, really big, maybe if we asked the White Rabbit he would know.

Posted by Will Peters at December 13, 2006 1:01 AM

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