Beer! It's Not Just For Making Ugly Chicks Doable Anymore

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December 9, 2011

Beer! It's Not Just For Making Ugly Chicks Doable Anymore
Image courtesy of Gizmodo.com.

Did you know that beer could be used for things besides helping us try to forget about our sad lives and making ugly chicks fuckable? (Which in turn helps us forget about our lives. At least until the sober light of morning.) Well, it's true.

Last week Clifton Vial, who lives in Alaska, went for a drive just to see where the road would take him. Well, it ended up taking him into a snow drift 40 miles outside of Nome. With no cell-phone coverage and the inability to get his truck out of the snow, he got into a sleeping bag, wrapped a towel around his feet and tried to keep as warm as possible while he waited for people to realize he was missing and send help.

By day two he was getting hungry. Scouring around the truck, all he could find were three cans of Coors Light beer that had frozen solid. (Thankfully, the blue-mountain indicators told him the beer was cold enough.) He cut off the tops of the cans and dug in with his knife, eating them like they were cans of beans. And they are better than beans too. Because when the rescuers found him, the cab of the truck didn't smell and he kept telling him how hot they all were!

So although keeping a stranded man alive is maybe the most important thing beer has ever done, the coolest thing beer has done has to be going into space.

A couple weeks ago, two fans of the much loved and maligned beer Natural Light (Natty Lite to those in the know), used a weather balloon and sealed a can in a cooler that they sent 90,000 feet into the atmosphere. And they also attached an empty can to the outside of the cooler and attached a camera to the container so that the entire 2.5 hour voyage could be witnessed with a Natural Light can in the frame. I thought that was pretty awesome. Check out the video of the trip.

After all that beer talk, I think it's time to hit the head, go see a man about a horse, take a leak, tinkle, golden shower the porcelain babe, do a #1, etc. But after having seen this last story, I gotta say that taking a piss in any other bathroom has never seemed so boring.

Yup, I got two videos for you this week, folks. Check out this story about a bar in the U.K. that installed urine-controlled video games in the bathrooms. These games are a big improvement over the games guys play now, like "hit the cigarette butt," "piss a hole in the urinal cake" and "spit through your stream." (Yes, ladies, it's true. Guys do these things when we go to the bathroom.)

Sure, these pissing games are only for guys (or girls that use urinals I guess), but if you wanna check out some chicks tinkling, I can point out a few sites that have that covered: Sneaky Pee, Pissing Outdoors, I Need 2 Pee and Need a Pee.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at December 9, 2011 6:30 AM

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