A Purple Bedroom Equals More Sex

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September 6, 2012

A Purple Bedroom Equals More Sex
Image courtesy of makehomedesign.com.

When most of us are thinking about things we can do to our bedroom to improve our sex life it's usually things like "clean the sheets," "move the cat's litter box into another room," "take down the wall-sized photos of our ex" and "take the Backstreet Boys CD off repeat." And while those are all good suggestions, it turns out that the first thing you should do is make the room purple.

A recent survey of British adults found that those with purple furniture or bedding had 3.49 "intimate encounters" per week. That's one more time than I got lucky last week, so I've already opened a separate tab in my browser to price purple comforters and bedroom furniture.

And, yes, your math is correct. I had sex 2.49 times last week. I banged my neighbor twice (2), I hooked up with a midget (.4) and I went on a date that ended with a handjob in the car, but she got a phone call and had to leave before I finished (.09).

Before I continue, you know those videos on YouTube where the people are cracking up over something stupid they are doing, but it actually isn't funny at all to anyone watching who wasn't there?

So you're heading out to buy the purple bedding right now, but you're also thinking that 3.49 times per week isn't enough for you. Well, let me suggest you also pick up some silk sheets while you're out.

The same survey found that people with silk sheets were the most sexually active. These people averaged 4.25 intimate encounters per week. Although, as anyone who has ever had silk sheets knows, most of those encounters probably took place on the bedroom floor (silk sheets are really slippery).

If you are reading this thinking about how great it would be to have sex more than three times a week, but you have an incontrollable aversion to the color purple, don't worry, I'm here for you.

The other colors that hit above three in the survey were red (3.18), sky blue (3.14) and pink (3.02). As for the colors that might help explain why you are getting sex less than twice a week, at the bottom of the list they found grey (1.8), green (1.89) and beige (1.97).

Are you in love with your grey, green or beige bedroom? Well, you could always become a swinger. As these sites prove, swingers don't seem to care what color a room is: 4 Real Swingers, Real Tampa Swingers.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at September 6, 2012 1:01 AM

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