Porn ReviewsSpecialsAdult PersonalsPorn TrialsPorn BlogSearchBookmark

A Big Lego Man, an Average Sized Penis, a Small Number of Avocados and a Donkey Prostitute

« I Am Ready for My Cum Facial |Main| Traveling For Brazilian Pussy »

October 28, 2011

A Big Lego Man
Image courtesy of HeraldTribune.com.

There were a lot of stories that came my way this week. However, like properly cooked pasta thrown against the wall, only four of them stuck. But where to begin? After looking at the stories it became obvious that the order would be from big to average to small to donkey. Let us begin.

Big

A couple of days ago a big Lego man washed up on the shores of a Florida beach. Pictured above, the big dude is made of fiberglass and has the words "No Real Than You Are" on his chest and "Ego Leonard 8" on his back.

An email was sent to "Ego Leonard" and was answered in the first person, saying he was glad to have arrived in Florida and to make new friends (like the guy who found him on the beach). He went on to say, "In case people want to take me on new adventures, just that you know, I have been invited to stay here for 90 days, everybody is welcome to show me all the beautiful surroundings while I am here."

So the deal here is that Ego Leonard is the alter ego of some Dutch artist and this isn't the first big Lego man sighting he has been behind - the beaches of Holland (2007) and England (2008) have also had big yellow castaways wash up on their shores.

The one thing I didn't hear anyone mention about this story is that number 8 on the big guy's back. I am convinced there are at least seven other Egos that have been put to sea and since only three have washed up so far, I'm thinking there are at least five other big Lego men out there floating around.

Average

In an attempt to help discourage men from getting penis enlargement procedures that could potentially be dangerous, the National Academy of Surgery in Paris has published the average penis size. I could tell you more about the organization and its history and get into the historical and psychological factors behind man's obsession with the size of his member, but I know that all you really want are the numbers. I'll give you a moment to go get your tape measure.

If we are talking length, the Academy says that a "normal" penis should be between 3.5 and 3.7 inches when soft and between 5 and 5.7 inches when erect.

When it comes to girth, a soft one should be between 3.3 and 3.5 inches and between 3.9 and 4.1 inches when rocking a stiffy.

Remember, guys, these are French penises. So if you've been feeling a little self-conscious about your 5.8-inch hard-on, just go hit on that cute French chick in your office who is new to the country. You've got yourself a bigger dick than what is normal in her country and with one well-timed and strategically placed brush-up against her, she could be saying, "Oui, oui" to your wee-wee.

Small

Let's say you are having a Super Bowl party at your place. You have a lot of people coming over and you have to make your world-famous guacamole. For the number of people coming, the recipe calls for 11 avocados. No problem, right? Well, that is unless you are Barron Stein of Fallbrook, California. Why is that such a problem for Mr. Stein you ask?

Well, back in March, Barron stole up to 1,000 pounds of avocados from a Bonsall grove and last week a San Diego judge sentence him to three years probation, during which he cannot visit avocado groves without permission and he can't (and this is where his Super Bowl party is put in jeopardy) posses more than 10 avocados at a time!

Hungry for avocados now, but want something besides guacamole? Watch this cute chick show you how to make what looks like a delicious avocado sandwich.

Donkey Prostitute

This story doesn't fit the big, average, small theme I had going, but there was no way I could blog this week without mentioning it.

A Zimbabwe man, Sunday Moyo, was arrested the other day when police found him having sex with a donkey tied to a tree in his yard. Normally, this wouldn't be something I would tell you all about, but wait till you hear the guy's story.

Mr. Moyo claims that he went to a nightclub the night before where he had procured the services of a prostitute for $20. So far, so good. But then he goes on to claim that at some point his $20 prostitute turned into a donkey! And it gets better.

Not only does he say he is now in love with the donkey, but he also told the court, "I only came to know that I was being intimate with a donkey when I got arrested." See? I told you it got better!

To recap, Moyo is saying that he hired a prostitute, took her back to his place and had sex with her. And not only did she turn into a donkey at some point during their time together, but he also didn't even realize she had become a donkey until the police arrested him while he was fucking her! He has been remanded in custody until October 27, 2011, and has been ordered to undergo psychiatric tests.

Feel like some penis-size porn? Here are some small ones: My Tiny Dick, The Minion and some big ones: Big Dicks Tight Fits, Monsters Of Cock.

Posted by A.K. Anderson at October 28, 2011 1:01 AM

Email

Comments

Post a comment




Remember Me?