By: Groundhog

There are many open-minded people out there that no longer believe that there is only one ?true love? in life. To those polygamous souls extra-relational relations does not even qualify as cheating, infidelity or unfaithfulness. When they find a like-minded someone with whom to share an open relationship then the power of their combined love can be long-lasting.

However, realistically both people really wanting to share their love with the whole world doesn?t happen that often. Usually it comes down to an ultimatum from one side or the other. Either the partner with wanderlust will seek their outside sex in secret or the monogamous partner will be coerced into acquiescing to an open relationship just to maintain the status quo. It often spells the beginning of the end, unless both parties can agree that it?s something they both want and that is serves no other purpose than pure pleasure.

If you can avoid the following myths then your relationship could be ready to expand:

It will make our relationship stronger. Ideally it will not destroy your relationship. Probably your relationship can survive. Realistically there is no chance in hell it will make it stronger. In the short term it can briefly re-infuse excitement into a relationship, but so could a Caribbean vacation or eating a meal at a fine restaurant or a wife getting a new hairstyle or a husband joining a gym.

Novelty wears off fast and if your relationship was on the rocks, a sex buzz ain?t going to fix it.

We just need to set boundaries. Make whatever rules you want, but expect that they?ll be broken. You?ve already decided to pursue an activity that falls outside the traditional norms of society don?t be naïve enough to belief that you?re likely to follow even self-imposed standards. You?re being spontaneous and taking risks; that?s the point. Don?t plan on controlling uncontrollable urges when you?ve decided to live as a rule-breaker already.

No one will get hurt. Just like a smoker has to believe he won?t get lung cancer so he can enjoy his cigarettes, we often take risks with our own feelings and those of others believing that somehow we will always get away with it. It?s easy to say, I won?t be jealous or she?ll understand, but until it?s actions not plans, one can never be 100% sure of the actual reaction. It could work out, but just don?t count on there being no complications.

It?s just sex. If it was so unimportant and meaningless you?d find a way to live without it. If sex had no intrinsic value then neither would one would feel like they were giving in by agreeing to include others nor would the other feel like they were giving something up by staying exclusive. No matter how casual one tries to be about sex, it always represents something, no matter how briefly the feeling lasts. If it means anything other than simple physical pleasure then you need to re-evaluate what purpose it serves.

Now the above may seem preachy but let?s face it, if you think it?s worth the risk, you?re going to do it anyway. When you know what you want in life and you don?t need to justify it, then you?re mature enough to deal with the consequences, until then, just don?t try to fool yourself. It?s a decision to make for you and you alone, not to please or control a partner, but if you want it to work you both need to be in agreement that you?ll enjoy it equally. Three?s a crowd unless you?re a team.